A friend of mine turned me on to Boston Legal and I am hooked. I bought seasons 1 and 2 on DVD and I am sitting in the airport watching one of the episodes. This particular episode has Michael J Fox playing Daniel Post, a rich man being sued for rigging a medical study. His attorney is the charming Denise Bauer, a smart and witty lawyer whom he begins to fall in love with. She sees all the wonderful things that makes Daniel who he is. His passion for life, drive, caring and loving heart. He is a real catch in every sense of the word with one fatal flaw. He is dying of cancer.
Daniel has a real zest for things. Outgoing and positive even though he realizes his days are literally coming to an end. He decides that he is going to give himself a funeral. Ya crazy I know. But he wanted to have his life celebrated, not mourned. So he throws a huge party with fun and games and friends and family all gathered to tell what Daniel has meant to them. After all don’t we all want to know what we mean to the people we love the most? I wonder what will be said of me on that day, just as Daniel was.
He invites Denise to go as his date. It is kind of funny as he invites a girl he is falling in love with to be his date at a funeral where he is the guest of honor. But she decides to go and does. She shows up and it’s a festival all right. People wearing the jersey of Daniels favorite hockey team, playing foosball and drinking beer. They even have a zamboni shaped cake. Apparently he was a fan.
Denise is watching this whole thing unfold and it hits her. She always KNEW Daniel was dying. She is his attorney defending him for rigging a cancer study. She knew he was running out of time and that other treatments he has tried had not worked. His current treatment wasn’t working. And the new treatment showed promise. But still, reality is what it is and he was almost assured to be dead very soon.
So what in the world was she thinking? Falling in love with a man facing the end of his life? Falling in love is supposed to the BEGINNING of a beautiful life isn’t it? Where did things go so wrong?
She runs from the funeral and Daniel chases her. He asks her where she is going and with tears in her eyes she sadly surveys the scene with him. They are at a party for him, with his friends and his family, and she is meeting them. And this is supposed to be a beginning. Not an end. And she knows she cant fall in love with someone when the end is near. She cant start at the end and miss all the possibilities and promises that beginnings are made of. And she walks away.
It made me brainstorm the idea that waiting for the end to start a beginning is such a tragic thing. Because life is supposed to be full of promise. And a look into the future, not the past. That when we are in that situation and we should be affectionately reliving wonderful memories full of love and laughter. Not speculating on what could have been.
Ultimately the tragedy is not that Daniel is dying. I hope you know that already. The tragedy is that he missed out on a great love. That he took too long to find one. That the sun was setting and he was just realizing he hadn’t been living. He was too busy to be in love. And love came too late for him.
I wonder how many of us will share his mistake.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
A Brave Heart
I have to say that Braveheart is a top 10 movie for me. In fact it's right up there next to the top. I was reflecting on the subtle things that are said in the movie and I wonder how many people hear the words, and how many people HEAR the words. What I mean by that is most people are listening to the things said throughout the movie. But how many are actually listening to what is said and understand the meaning, the message, that they are sending?
The line I am thinking about is the one William says Princess Isabella during one of their very emotional conversations. "Every man dies, not every man really lives." The whole idea goes back to my basic belief that I have shared here many times, that it is not good enough to just exist in a partnership however you define that. Our hearts desire more. They desire, even demand, more.
We know what we want. Yet we continue day in and day out to settle for far less than our hearts beg us for. Why? Because everyman dies. Not every man really lives. It's easy to go along for the sake of comfort and peace. It's easy to say I can tolerate the fact that I am so far from desires because I am so close to my comforts. Why upset things? Why cause trouble, inflict pain, hurt feelings, maybe even break up an otherwise happy home?
I spend a lot of time on that idea. Ending something that is adequate. Tolerable. Nothing more than a mere existence but an easy one at that. If I give in a little and work a little to cooperate I can trade that for a little bit better than a moderate love. I see that. So why can't I just say ok? Why do I keep beating my head against the wall and asking for more when more will hurt people I do love. It's not easy.
Brainstorm that idea out a little and maybe the answer will be clear to you as well. My answer is simple. I am willing to do it because my heart demands more. My heart demands the love of a soulmate. My heart demands someone who wants me to love her that way in return. My heart demands someone who is not willing to accept merely existing in a tolerable relationship. I demand someone who wants to really live. To really love.
HEARTWORK: Brainstorm your TRUE heart requirements. Can you get them in the relationship you have if you put in the effort? That's always the best hope. But if not, what are you willing to settle for? Most everyone will find someone to love. Not everyone will find someone to be crazy in love with.
It takes a BRAVE heart to stand up and say I need more. It takes a braver heart to take the steps required to have more. That's my take. What's yours?
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
The line I am thinking about is the one William says Princess Isabella during one of their very emotional conversations. "Every man dies, not every man really lives." The whole idea goes back to my basic belief that I have shared here many times, that it is not good enough to just exist in a partnership however you define that. Our hearts desire more. They desire, even demand, more.
We know what we want. Yet we continue day in and day out to settle for far less than our hearts beg us for. Why? Because everyman dies. Not every man really lives. It's easy to go along for the sake of comfort and peace. It's easy to say I can tolerate the fact that I am so far from desires because I am so close to my comforts. Why upset things? Why cause trouble, inflict pain, hurt feelings, maybe even break up an otherwise happy home?
I spend a lot of time on that idea. Ending something that is adequate. Tolerable. Nothing more than a mere existence but an easy one at that. If I give in a little and work a little to cooperate I can trade that for a little bit better than a moderate love. I see that. So why can't I just say ok? Why do I keep beating my head against the wall and asking for more when more will hurt people I do love. It's not easy.
Brainstorm that idea out a little and maybe the answer will be clear to you as well. My answer is simple. I am willing to do it because my heart demands more. My heart demands the love of a soulmate. My heart demands someone who wants me to love her that way in return. My heart demands someone who is not willing to accept merely existing in a tolerable relationship. I demand someone who wants to really live. To really love.
HEARTWORK: Brainstorm your TRUE heart requirements. Can you get them in the relationship you have if you put in the effort? That's always the best hope. But if not, what are you willing to settle for? Most everyone will find someone to love. Not everyone will find someone to be crazy in love with.
It takes a BRAVE heart to stand up and say I need more. It takes a braver heart to take the steps required to have more. That's my take. What's yours?
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Choose Your Battles
I have heard that phrase my whole life and have often wondered how people decide when a fight is worth it and when its time to step back and say “No Thanks.” Some people think winning is so important that they only fight when they know they can win. Others take the position that the underlying issue must be worth fighting for before they venture into the fray. Some people simply say no fight is worth it and take whatever the results of a surrender may be.
Battles. Fighting. Arguments. Whatever you call them they all produce pain. And we as humans do our very best to avoid pain. It’s a basic survival instinct. But what about the times when pain is required to survive? Sometimes when something is wrong we are forced to engage in painful activities in order to fix a problem. Anyone who has ever said “I need to lose a few pounds” and then started an exercise program can relate. It’s not long before your body is scream at you “Stop this crap or I will kill you!” Other events that come to mind are trips to the dentist to fill a cavity. Can you imagine chemotherapy?
When a couple fights it could be bad or good for the relationship depending on the issue and the reason. A fight for the wrong reason will be hurtful, even fatal, to a fragile relationship because by its nature it destroys. A fight for the right reasons will strengthen a relationship because its purpose is to defend, to take a stand and say this is not good for our relationship and I am willing to battle over this.
Fighting because your partner takes the cute receptionist to lunch or brings her coffee in the morning is a good and healthy reason. Fighting because your partner is constantly buying clothes with credit cards and sinking you further and further in debt is a good and healthy reason. Fighting because you feel you are not getting enough quality time and he or she wants more alone time is valid. Fighting because your partner is a slob and it’s putting undue stress on you to play maid for them is good. Or if your partner is into online porn and its ruining your relationship. All Good. You get the idea.
Picking on your partner because they have little things that bug you is not a good reason. It is destructive. Fighting because you use it to control the relationship and be in charge is a horrible reason. Fighting because you don’t want to be inconvenienced by going to your partners family gathering is not good.
In those cases you should take the energy you have to fight and put it to good use strengthening your relationship. Sometimes the right fight is with yourself, sucking it up and enduring something unpleasant for their sake. It is not always easy but then who said fighting for the love of your life would be?
HEARTWORK: Take a look at your heart and ask yourself if you fight to strengthen or if you fight to weaken your relationship. Be honest with yourself. If you are fighting wrong then fix it. If you are defending your relationship then communicate and keep up the good fight.
If you have ideas please share them. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Battles. Fighting. Arguments. Whatever you call them they all produce pain. And we as humans do our very best to avoid pain. It’s a basic survival instinct. But what about the times when pain is required to survive? Sometimes when something is wrong we are forced to engage in painful activities in order to fix a problem. Anyone who has ever said “I need to lose a few pounds” and then started an exercise program can relate. It’s not long before your body is scream at you “Stop this crap or I will kill you!” Other events that come to mind are trips to the dentist to fill a cavity. Can you imagine chemotherapy?
When a couple fights it could be bad or good for the relationship depending on the issue and the reason. A fight for the wrong reason will be hurtful, even fatal, to a fragile relationship because by its nature it destroys. A fight for the right reasons will strengthen a relationship because its purpose is to defend, to take a stand and say this is not good for our relationship and I am willing to battle over this.
Fighting because your partner takes the cute receptionist to lunch or brings her coffee in the morning is a good and healthy reason. Fighting because your partner is constantly buying clothes with credit cards and sinking you further and further in debt is a good and healthy reason. Fighting because you feel you are not getting enough quality time and he or she wants more alone time is valid. Fighting because your partner is a slob and it’s putting undue stress on you to play maid for them is good. Or if your partner is into online porn and its ruining your relationship. All Good. You get the idea.
Picking on your partner because they have little things that bug you is not a good reason. It is destructive. Fighting because you use it to control the relationship and be in charge is a horrible reason. Fighting because you don’t want to be inconvenienced by going to your partners family gathering is not good.
In those cases you should take the energy you have to fight and put it to good use strengthening your relationship. Sometimes the right fight is with yourself, sucking it up and enduring something unpleasant for their sake. It is not always easy but then who said fighting for the love of your life would be?
HEARTWORK: Take a look at your heart and ask yourself if you fight to strengthen or if you fight to weaken your relationship. Be honest with yourself. If you are fighting wrong then fix it. If you are defending your relationship then communicate and keep up the good fight.
If you have ideas please share them. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Groundhog Day
The story has been told a thousand times. February 2 of every year Punxsutauney Phil comes out of his hole and if he see’s his shadow it’s going to be another 6 weeks of winter for us. If no shadow, winter is coming to an end.
There was also a pretty funny movie called Groundhog Day that I want to brainstorm a little bit in connection with the Phil. In the movie Phil Connors finds himself waking up day after on February 2, and reliving Groundhog day over and over. Every day he wakes up its Groundhog day again. He goes through the same exact routine, goes to work, does his job, etc.
If you stop and think about it we kind of live like that. We wake up and do the same things over and over. The routine becomes worse than routine. Life loses its luster and we get tired. Excitement fades. We find just enough energy to scrape through the day one more time knowing when the alarm goes off we are destined to repeat.
But why? In the movie he realizes what is happening and he does some pretty interesting things. He uses the time loop to his advantage and he starts to learn about the people around him. He takes piano lessons and learns to speak French. He has some adventures (most I would advise against) but nonetheless he does exciting things. He takes the time to learn about the woman he is falling in love with. He takes the time to develop some pretty interesting relationships with the people around him.
After all his efforts to learn as much about Rita as he can he tells her about the time loop. She helps him come up with a plan to break free from the time loop and it works. He wakes up and the same old routine has been broken. And he has the woman of his dreams.
I can see that and it makes sense to me. Routine and boredom, mixed in with loneliness and a lack of a heartfelt connected relationship will leave you sad and lonely. You get stuck in that horrible routine of mere existence. But tell me how it works in reverse? When you are in love with the woman of your dreams and you somehow allow life to slip into that dull boring routine. Where did you lose the excitement? What happened that made you just say dang I am too tired to do anything fun with this woman. And the routine grows and gets deeper. And one day you wake up and years have melted away from you and you can’t figure out what the heck happened.
HEARTWORK: Break the routine! Shake yourself and admit you and your relationship are in a terrible rut. If you don’t pull out of it you will continue to feel that sinking feeling of despair day after day after day. Write down an activities list for you and your lover. Sort the list from easiest to accomplish to the more exotic. Put some fantasies on that list of yours! Put that imagination to work. As you check the activities off the list you should find new things to take their place.
If you have ideas for the list send them to me. We can put together a Lovers Activity List and publish it. If you need help with ideas let me know. I have some doozies.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
There was also a pretty funny movie called Groundhog Day that I want to brainstorm a little bit in connection with the Phil. In the movie Phil Connors finds himself waking up day after on February 2, and reliving Groundhog day over and over. Every day he wakes up its Groundhog day again. He goes through the same exact routine, goes to work, does his job, etc.
If you stop and think about it we kind of live like that. We wake up and do the same things over and over. The routine becomes worse than routine. Life loses its luster and we get tired. Excitement fades. We find just enough energy to scrape through the day one more time knowing when the alarm goes off we are destined to repeat.
But why? In the movie he realizes what is happening and he does some pretty interesting things. He uses the time loop to his advantage and he starts to learn about the people around him. He takes piano lessons and learns to speak French. He has some adventures (most I would advise against) but nonetheless he does exciting things. He takes the time to learn about the woman he is falling in love with. He takes the time to develop some pretty interesting relationships with the people around him.
After all his efforts to learn as much about Rita as he can he tells her about the time loop. She helps him come up with a plan to break free from the time loop and it works. He wakes up and the same old routine has been broken. And he has the woman of his dreams.
I can see that and it makes sense to me. Routine and boredom, mixed in with loneliness and a lack of a heartfelt connected relationship will leave you sad and lonely. You get stuck in that horrible routine of mere existence. But tell me how it works in reverse? When you are in love with the woman of your dreams and you somehow allow life to slip into that dull boring routine. Where did you lose the excitement? What happened that made you just say dang I am too tired to do anything fun with this woman. And the routine grows and gets deeper. And one day you wake up and years have melted away from you and you can’t figure out what the heck happened.
HEARTWORK: Break the routine! Shake yourself and admit you and your relationship are in a terrible rut. If you don’t pull out of it you will continue to feel that sinking feeling of despair day after day after day. Write down an activities list for you and your lover. Sort the list from easiest to accomplish to the more exotic. Put some fantasies on that list of yours! Put that imagination to work. As you check the activities off the list you should find new things to take their place.
If you have ideas for the list send them to me. We can put together a Lovers Activity List and publish it. If you need help with ideas let me know. I have some doozies.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Soulmate Strong
I was watching a commercial for the Army and I started thinking about how they market to potential recruits. We have seen the signs for decades of Uncle Sam pointing a stern finger at us and telling us that he needs us. Stop and think and you can hear the song playing “BE! All that you can be! In the Army!” Recently the campaign was “Army of One” and now we have “Army Strong”
Uncle Sam was appealing to our sense of duty. Our sense of patriotism. Our Pride. The desire to contribute something and be a part of history. He called us to serve. In our relationships is that such a bad thing? Is it wrong to want to stir those types of feelings. To give our very best to something (really to someone) that we love? Don’t we want to be proud of what we have in our relationship? Don’t we want to think of ourselves as givers to the relationship? Serving the relationship? I think we do. Or we would not be wasting our time on this blog.
What about the song? Be all you can be. I was brainstorming that idea out and it hit me just how meaningful that idea is. The army says you are good. But come join our team and you can be great. Don’t settle for average. Aspire to bigger and better things. Be more with her than you could be on your own. Be better with her than you could be on your own. Remember that moment at the end of the movie “As Good As It Gets” when Jack Nicholson tells Helen Hunt “You make me want to be a better man.” That’s what a relationship should do for us. It should make us aspire to be our absolute best. And we should be doing everything we can so our partner can be their absolute best.
Army of One. I had to think about this. But not for long. The idea was simple once I gave it a little thought. It’s a lot like the song. Together we are stronger and better than we are alone. Together we are not two against the world. We are a united front. One. A team. Its me and you I have your back you have mine. I lean on you and depend on you and count on you to get me through the hard times and be there to enjoy the good ones. And you do the same with me. Individually we are good. Together we are great.
Finally, we hear tyrants around the world proclaim how they would unleash hell on our army if we dare mess with them. Ya ok. Anything you say pal. Truth be told no country on the planet wants to hear that the USS Ronald Reagan and her battle fleet are sailing toward them to give them the business. One Seawolf submarine is capable of launching 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles that could make a country disappear from the map. Our military has its faults, but its might is unquestionable. Our relationships should be like that. Ya they have their troubles. But at the end of the day their strengths should be the focus and we should draw on the good things they present. They should be a shield for us, defending us against outside forces trying to wear us down and defeat us. When you are under attack, you should turn to your partner for help in your battles. Not just strong. Soulmate Strong.
HEARTWORK: Come up with an advertising plan to promote your relationship to your partner. Think up a new way you can “recruit” your partner to team up with you and strengthen the bond you share. Keep in mind that you want to be better together than you are individually.
Email your plans or your catchy phrases and slogans. They could be fun to share.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Uncle Sam was appealing to our sense of duty. Our sense of patriotism. Our Pride. The desire to contribute something and be a part of history. He called us to serve. In our relationships is that such a bad thing? Is it wrong to want to stir those types of feelings. To give our very best to something (really to someone) that we love? Don’t we want to be proud of what we have in our relationship? Don’t we want to think of ourselves as givers to the relationship? Serving the relationship? I think we do. Or we would not be wasting our time on this blog.
What about the song? Be all you can be. I was brainstorming that idea out and it hit me just how meaningful that idea is. The army says you are good. But come join our team and you can be great. Don’t settle for average. Aspire to bigger and better things. Be more with her than you could be on your own. Be better with her than you could be on your own. Remember that moment at the end of the movie “As Good As It Gets” when Jack Nicholson tells Helen Hunt “You make me want to be a better man.” That’s what a relationship should do for us. It should make us aspire to be our absolute best. And we should be doing everything we can so our partner can be their absolute best.
Army of One. I had to think about this. But not for long. The idea was simple once I gave it a little thought. It’s a lot like the song. Together we are stronger and better than we are alone. Together we are not two against the world. We are a united front. One. A team. Its me and you I have your back you have mine. I lean on you and depend on you and count on you to get me through the hard times and be there to enjoy the good ones. And you do the same with me. Individually we are good. Together we are great.
Finally, we hear tyrants around the world proclaim how they would unleash hell on our army if we dare mess with them. Ya ok. Anything you say pal. Truth be told no country on the planet wants to hear that the USS Ronald Reagan and her battle fleet are sailing toward them to give them the business. One Seawolf submarine is capable of launching 50 Tomahawk cruise missiles that could make a country disappear from the map. Our military has its faults, but its might is unquestionable. Our relationships should be like that. Ya they have their troubles. But at the end of the day their strengths should be the focus and we should draw on the good things they present. They should be a shield for us, defending us against outside forces trying to wear us down and defeat us. When you are under attack, you should turn to your partner for help in your battles. Not just strong. Soulmate Strong.
HEARTWORK: Come up with an advertising plan to promote your relationship to your partner. Think up a new way you can “recruit” your partner to team up with you and strengthen the bond you share. Keep in mind that you want to be better together than you are individually.
Email your plans or your catchy phrases and slogans. They could be fun to share.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Pina Colodas
If you have ever heard the Escape song, better known as the Pina Coloda song, then you probably can guess where I want to go today.
The song says a lot about how I have been feeling lately. I have all these things running through my heart and mind that I want out of life, and I am just not getting them. So do I say to myself, Self, you are being awfully selfish dont you think? Or do I say Self, Life is SHORT. You should not let it slip by without having LIVED it.
I told someone the other day that my biggest fear would be one day waking up old and regret all the things I didnt do because I was afraid, or comfortable, or bound by some other excuse for inaction. So I started to brainstorm that idea. What WOULD I do if I really had the courage? What would I change? What would I put more effort into? What needs to go and what needs more of my attention?
OK before we go any further let me tell you where I part from the song. The woman posted her ad for the escape and she had not tried to fix things with her man. Well we have to read that into it because there is no evidence to the contrary. She should have taken the time to make sure her man knew what was on her heart. That he had a chance to step up and fix the relationship. He deserved to know that the relationship was not meeting her needs. But to fair, he didnt do that either. He replied to the ad without taking the time to talk to her.
That I think is the single biggest reason two people dont make it together. An otherwise good thing is allowed to wither and die because the lines of communication are neglected, or simply dont exist. Its even worse when you are afraid to open to him or her because of how they will respond.
OK So he is waiting for her at a bar called OMalleys. And the girl walks in. And he smiles because it is HIS woman. I guess we can say whew, they figured it out before it was too late. But why did it have to get to the point where they were Escaping before the found that this whole time they were looking for each other? I never knew that you liked Pina Coladas. Or getting caught in the rain.
HEARTWORK: Write your own personal ad. Seriously. Write an ad and ask all the questions you have in your heart. Or the most important if the list is just too big. And then give it to your partner. If you are adventurous, mail it to them.
This could be a fun exercise. I bet there are some great ad's stored up in a lot of hearts out there.
Share yours. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
The song says a lot about how I have been feeling lately. I have all these things running through my heart and mind that I want out of life, and I am just not getting them. So do I say to myself, Self, you are being awfully selfish dont you think? Or do I say Self, Life is SHORT. You should not let it slip by without having LIVED it.
I told someone the other day that my biggest fear would be one day waking up old and regret all the things I didnt do because I was afraid, or comfortable, or bound by some other excuse for inaction. So I started to brainstorm that idea. What WOULD I do if I really had the courage? What would I change? What would I put more effort into? What needs to go and what needs more of my attention?
OK before we go any further let me tell you where I part from the song. The woman posted her ad for the escape and she had not tried to fix things with her man. Well we have to read that into it because there is no evidence to the contrary. She should have taken the time to make sure her man knew what was on her heart. That he had a chance to step up and fix the relationship. He deserved to know that the relationship was not meeting her needs. But to fair, he didnt do that either. He replied to the ad without taking the time to talk to her.
That I think is the single biggest reason two people dont make it together. An otherwise good thing is allowed to wither and die because the lines of communication are neglected, or simply dont exist. Its even worse when you are afraid to open to him or her because of how they will respond.
OK So he is waiting for her at a bar called OMalleys. And the girl walks in. And he smiles because it is HIS woman. I guess we can say whew, they figured it out before it was too late. But why did it have to get to the point where they were Escaping before the found that this whole time they were looking for each other? I never knew that you liked Pina Coladas. Or getting caught in the rain.
HEARTWORK: Write your own personal ad. Seriously. Write an ad and ask all the questions you have in your heart. Or the most important if the list is just too big. And then give it to your partner. If you are adventurous, mail it to them.
This could be a fun exercise. I bet there are some great ad's stored up in a lot of hearts out there.
Share yours. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Resolutions
The new year is here an no doubt many resolutions have already been broken. It’s human nature to make promises to ourselves that are designed to better us. The problem is that January 1 is just another day. There really isn’t anything magical about it. A resolution doesn’t care the day you make it. The only day that matters is the day you give up on the resolution.
I want to make a resolution. I resolve to put more effort into this blog. I will work harder on new ideas and share them with you. I hope you will share your thoughts with me as well.
Let’s brainstorm resolutions. What are the most common ones people make? Ding ding ding yes if you said lose weight and get in shape you are correct. Those are the by far the two biggest ones made. Eat healthier. Quit smoking. Give to charity. Be a better spouse. A better person. The list is endless. We know where we are lacking and we put a little extra effort to change that. I applaud everyone who tries. It does take guts to admit to ourselves that we are not measuring up. But what are we really saying about ourselves? Are we really digging deep enough and targeting the real issues?
Physical fitness is central to the most common resolutions right? What about emotional fitness? Sounds silly maybe but why not? Really. If we can devise methods to exercise physically and get in better shape why can’t we devise methods to get others area of our lives in shape too? I think we can. And if that is true I would wonder why we don’t try to work on our emotional fitness.
How do we exercise our emotions? I can think of many ways. Loving someone is a good start. I have long believed that love is an action long before it is an emotion. So we can strengthen our emotions for someone by doing things for them. If you are thinking like I am right now you are trying to come up with idea for things. Where do we start? The 5 love languages offer us a solid blueprint on ideas. Gifts. Quality time. Words of Affirmation. Touch. Acts of service. Any of these will start us in the right direction.
While we are filling their tanks with love, we strengthen our emotional “muscle”. The more we do, the easier it becomes. The more we can lift, so to speak. It is tough running that first mile isn’t it? But after trying and trying and trying it becomes easier and easier. Until a mile is a warm up for a real work out. Can’t an emotional workout do the same thing for us? If we start doing things that grow our affection and love for our partner won’t we find ourselves having deeper stronger emotions?
HEARTWORK: Take the first step. Pick 1 of the items. Words of Affirmation for example. Tell your partner they look pretty, or handsome. Tell them you appreciate them, and you are grateful to have them in your life. Tell them that meal they cooked was just amazing. Put a smile on her pretty face. It doesn’t really matter where you start. Just start. Take the first step. Exercise your emotional connection with your partner and resolve to make that a strong and vibrant part of your life.
I think that is a good start for the new year. Start today. Don’t put it off until it becomes another resolution that goes unrealized. The stakes are too high for that to happen.
Oh and let me clear up something. I really am a guy. Honest.
Do you have ideas for working on your emotional fitness? Write me and share. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
I want to make a resolution. I resolve to put more effort into this blog. I will work harder on new ideas and share them with you. I hope you will share your thoughts with me as well.
Let’s brainstorm resolutions. What are the most common ones people make? Ding ding ding yes if you said lose weight and get in shape you are correct. Those are the by far the two biggest ones made. Eat healthier. Quit smoking. Give to charity. Be a better spouse. A better person. The list is endless. We know where we are lacking and we put a little extra effort to change that. I applaud everyone who tries. It does take guts to admit to ourselves that we are not measuring up. But what are we really saying about ourselves? Are we really digging deep enough and targeting the real issues?
Physical fitness is central to the most common resolutions right? What about emotional fitness? Sounds silly maybe but why not? Really. If we can devise methods to exercise physically and get in better shape why can’t we devise methods to get others area of our lives in shape too? I think we can. And if that is true I would wonder why we don’t try to work on our emotional fitness.
How do we exercise our emotions? I can think of many ways. Loving someone is a good start. I have long believed that love is an action long before it is an emotion. So we can strengthen our emotions for someone by doing things for them. If you are thinking like I am right now you are trying to come up with idea for things. Where do we start? The 5 love languages offer us a solid blueprint on ideas. Gifts. Quality time. Words of Affirmation. Touch. Acts of service. Any of these will start us in the right direction.
While we are filling their tanks with love, we strengthen our emotional “muscle”. The more we do, the easier it becomes. The more we can lift, so to speak. It is tough running that first mile isn’t it? But after trying and trying and trying it becomes easier and easier. Until a mile is a warm up for a real work out. Can’t an emotional workout do the same thing for us? If we start doing things that grow our affection and love for our partner won’t we find ourselves having deeper stronger emotions?
HEARTWORK: Take the first step. Pick 1 of the items. Words of Affirmation for example. Tell your partner they look pretty, or handsome. Tell them you appreciate them, and you are grateful to have them in your life. Tell them that meal they cooked was just amazing. Put a smile on her pretty face. It doesn’t really matter where you start. Just start. Take the first step. Exercise your emotional connection with your partner and resolve to make that a strong and vibrant part of your life.
I think that is a good start for the new year. Start today. Don’t put it off until it becomes another resolution that goes unrealized. The stakes are too high for that to happen.
Oh and let me clear up something. I really am a guy. Honest.
Do you have ideas for working on your emotional fitness? Write me and share. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
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