Today was Memorial Day. A day we remember all the men and women who have paid the ultimate price for the freedoms we enjoy. "Greater love hath no man than he lay down his life for a friend" Those words are a true today as they were the day Jesus first spoke them.
So on memorial day I want to ask you to take a minute and revisit all your memories that have been created in your relationship. But lets focus on the good memories. There are plenty of times we spend far to much time wallowing in the misfortunes and mistakes we have made in the past. Today is a day for good memories.
Remember the first time you looked into each others eyes. Tell that person about that moment and how it felt. Remember the first time you held hands to walk somewhere. Do you remember how exciting that was? How about that first kiss? The first time you prayed together? With the blending of families in todays dating world, you may have brought children to the relationship. Do you remember the first time you met them? The first time the kids met each other? :)
How about the first time you said I love you? Was it something you intended to do or did it slip out? How about the first time you made love? How about the first time he/she did something really cute that caught you off guard because people before them did not do that?
So many wonderful memories. My heart is just so full of them. So many to replay tonight. So many that I wish I could re-live. :)
Life is short. Don't pass up a chance to really linger in the moment. Live to moment. Embrace it and take a brilliant mental picture. You will want to keep it for a life time.
Heartwork: Smile. Life is good. Be glad for all the sunshine.
Monday, May 26, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
Fight the GOOD fight.
Fighting is a wonderful thing when done in proper
context. First and foremost it is a
necessary component to a healthy relationship because it allows each side to
bring grievances out into the open and get them discussed, and hopefully
resolved. It also is a powerful tool for
correcting bad behavior, and for spurring a lack of behavior at times. Fighting in and of itself is a good thing
inside a relationship. Show me a
relationship where this is no fighting, and I will show you a relationship that
is void of passion.
The fighting I want to talk about is in this post is not
fighting in a relationship. I want to
talk about fighting FOR a relationship.
This kind of fighting is a daily activity that must be done by both
parties in the relationship if it is to have any hopes of being truly
successful. Mind you, I do not count
existing as being successful. So if you
think simply sticking together makes your relationship successful…we are not on
the same page.
So what do I mean by fighting FOR a relationship? This concept is pretty simple in my
mind. You do the things that are
required to ensure emotional and spiritual safety. You preserve the integrity of the
relationship by being honest when it hurts, transparent when it’s scary,
proactive when your heart is not in it, thoughtful when you feel neglected, and
faithful when you are sorely tempted. I
am sure there are more components, but these are the ones I am talking about
now. (but you know if you want to expand
on them or present additional ones that I will write about your ideas…)
Ephesians Chapter 6 is a warfare chapter in the bible. Be strong in the Lord and the power of His
might. Take on the whole armor of
God. Stand your ground against the devil
and when you have done ALL You can do…STAND.
Let’s look at that whole idea in a relationship context.
Every day we wake up the devil is going to try and ruin our
relationship. The thief comes to steal,
kill, and destroy. We must fight FOR our
relationship and keep it protected and healthy every day. When we are tempted by someone to make a
relationship-destroying decision we need to recognize that and turn away. Put on the eyes of faithfulness. Don’t allow
yourself to be caught up in flirting or other behavior you would not do if your
partner were watching. Pretend they ARE
watching…and maintain your personal integrity.
Do not allow it to be compromised.
Once compromised…it loses all its value.
Put on the mind of transparency. Don’t sneak, hide, or pretend. I was watching my son’s friend snapchat the
other night and he said it was great because no matter what picture you send…it
is gone on their phone in 10 seconds.
And they can’t keep a running conversation so you don’t worry about
someone seeing anything you forgot to hide.
And you can’t tell they were even doing it. Why would anyone allow themselves to be
caught up in such a destructive encounter?
Get rid of it. Get rid of all
temptations to sneak. Delete old
contacts, unfriend old flames, block anyone you have to. Do whatever it takes to remove the
opportunity to be shady in our behavior.
Don’t hide something you did because you fear the repercussions – Don’t do
it in the first place! And if you do…come
clean. When they find out what you did
it will be worse…far worse. Don’t pretend you are happy when you are upset
about something (oh man am I guilty of this one!!!!) If there is occasion to tell them about
something they deserve to know…past present future…TELL THEM. What He/She doesn’t know won't hurt them...right? Wrong! It will destroy them
when they find out on their own.
Put on the lips of honesty.
This one is HARD. I will be the
first to admit I find ways to avoid the truth when I feel it will cause
problems in the relationship OR when I need time to really consider how I feel
about something. Don’t do it. Don’t lie.
Don’t allow your partner to have doubts about what you say to them
because once that happens…you are forever compromised. Like a branch that is broken. Yes it may still bear fruit but it will never
be the strong fruit producer that it was before. Once broken, it will have to be cut off at
the lie, and allowed to grow from a fresh offshoot. But that only happens when the truth is
told. And not just enough to get by…the
whole truth.
Put on the feet of service.
When you are angry, or hurt, or frustrated with your partner…serve
them. Open her door, poor him coffee in
the morning, compliment her on how great she looks. (You better or some demon in the world
will) Bake her the cookies she
loves. Run her a bath. Walk with her. Listen to him complain about something and
just be his friend. Do the little things
that you did when you were trying to win the other person. That is fighting for the relationship when it
is hardest to do.
OK That is where I am stopping for now. There is a LOT more that can be said…so I
will let you all send ideas and thoughts and help direct the continued
discussion here.
HEARTWORK: Ask yourself if you wake up every morning determined to FIGHT for your relationship? Are there areas where you have not been doing a good job? Fix it. Are there areas you find yourself under assualt? Pray and ask God for the strength to stand against the thief coming to steal your relationship. Ask
yourself if you have failed any of these ideas.
If you have, find the courage to fix it.
Come clean. Clean house. Get things right. Find the courage to take the hard road
now. Otherwise you may find the other
person has decided to stop fighting…and is turning to the other part of that
most basic survival instinct. Flight.
Email me: Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Monday, May 12, 2014
Appraisals and Finding Value
I absolutely love looking at something with potential and brainstorming things I could do to bring that potential to fruition. I watch the fix and flip shows on DIY and HGTV and I see how they find this complete wreck of a house and put some work into it and end up with this amazing home that anyone would be thrilled to live in. I have been driving around the city I live in looking for opportunities to do something like those guys on the fix-flip shows. I have done enough renovation to know what I can do and what I need help getting done. I am pretty good at figure out the work that is needed, how much it will cost, and what the return on the investment will be.
Recently I bought an apartment with a coin-operated laundry room. I was interested in how that works so I did some research on the web and found out that it has the potential to be a real money maker. I thought about that and started looking into store-front laundromats as a possible business venture. I found some very interesting things out about the business. For example, the ones that appear to be clean and well cared for had a much higher market value than ones that did the bare minimum maintenance. Does that surprise anyone? Not me. It makes perfect sense. The better you care for your investment, the more value it has. It kind of dove-tails into the biblical concept "where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" But I see that both directions. Where your heart is, there will be your treasure. And business owners that care for their business and take care of it see the most treasure (value) from the investment.
I started playing with ideas. What if I section of an area for entertainment and I put in an old Nintendo and charge a little to rent time on the console? I can buy one online with a dozen games for $100. If I rent it for $5 an hour I could recover my entire investment in a few short days. Everything after that is pure profit. Not only do I make money from the console, I provide the parents a tremendous benefit by keeping their kids entertained while they wash clothes. If you have kids you know what a nightmare it is to keep them behaved for several hours when they bored out of their minds. So the Nintendo will add marketing value to my business and encourage customers to use my machines rather than the machines 2 blocks closer to home. Value.
It makes me smile thinking that I named this blog "Life and all the possibilities" Because that is what I see everywhere I look. I wake up every morning and I ask what can I do to make life more valuable and rewarding today. If I am in a relationship how can I bring more value to it? How can find new ways to bring that person back and have them feel like this is where they are getting the most return on their investment. They have other options, what can I do to make my offering more valuable to them than the competition? What do they need in their lives that I can somehow provide that would keep them coming back for more of me? Keep them from window shopping for other more enticing locations? I look at opportunities I have had where I was not successful and it breaks my heart.
Ultimately that is what we need to ask ourselves each and morning. What value can I bring to the table today? What do I see in my partner that would flourish if I put some extra effort into it? Do I see opportunity to grow something that is otherwise neglected and unused? Is there something there that is just waiting to have someone show some interest? Is there this dry empty field that hides millions of beautiful flowers beneath the surface and is just waiting for the right pair of eyes to recognize it and put a little water on it?
I want to be that person. The one that recognizes the potential in my partner and find ways to grow it. I want to see her beaming with a smile that starts in the soul, moves to the heart, and radiates from her eyes. I want to find the ways to make that happen. When I have failed, I ache. When I missed the opportunity, I kick myself and I am angry at me for not paying attention.
Heartwork: Take the time to appraise your relationship. Figure out the true value. Figure out where there is opportunity to grow that value. Find new untapped potential and put some serious effort into frowing that from an empty lot into a beautiful field of flowers. Email me and tell me what you discovered.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Recently I bought an apartment with a coin-operated laundry room. I was interested in how that works so I did some research on the web and found out that it has the potential to be a real money maker. I thought about that and started looking into store-front laundromats as a possible business venture. I found some very interesting things out about the business. For example, the ones that appear to be clean and well cared for had a much higher market value than ones that did the bare minimum maintenance. Does that surprise anyone? Not me. It makes perfect sense. The better you care for your investment, the more value it has. It kind of dove-tails into the biblical concept "where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" But I see that both directions. Where your heart is, there will be your treasure. And business owners that care for their business and take care of it see the most treasure (value) from the investment.
I started playing with ideas. What if I section of an area for entertainment and I put in an old Nintendo and charge a little to rent time on the console? I can buy one online with a dozen games for $100. If I rent it for $5 an hour I could recover my entire investment in a few short days. Everything after that is pure profit. Not only do I make money from the console, I provide the parents a tremendous benefit by keeping their kids entertained while they wash clothes. If you have kids you know what a nightmare it is to keep them behaved for several hours when they bored out of their minds. So the Nintendo will add marketing value to my business and encourage customers to use my machines rather than the machines 2 blocks closer to home. Value.
It makes me smile thinking that I named this blog "Life and all the possibilities" Because that is what I see everywhere I look. I wake up every morning and I ask what can I do to make life more valuable and rewarding today. If I am in a relationship how can I bring more value to it? How can find new ways to bring that person back and have them feel like this is where they are getting the most return on their investment. They have other options, what can I do to make my offering more valuable to them than the competition? What do they need in their lives that I can somehow provide that would keep them coming back for more of me? Keep them from window shopping for other more enticing locations? I look at opportunities I have had where I was not successful and it breaks my heart.
Ultimately that is what we need to ask ourselves each and morning. What value can I bring to the table today? What do I see in my partner that would flourish if I put some extra effort into it? Do I see opportunity to grow something that is otherwise neglected and unused? Is there something there that is just waiting to have someone show some interest? Is there this dry empty field that hides millions of beautiful flowers beneath the surface and is just waiting for the right pair of eyes to recognize it and put a little water on it?
I want to be that person. The one that recognizes the potential in my partner and find ways to grow it. I want to see her beaming with a smile that starts in the soul, moves to the heart, and radiates from her eyes. I want to find the ways to make that happen. When I have failed, I ache. When I missed the opportunity, I kick myself and I am angry at me for not paying attention.
Heartwork: Take the time to appraise your relationship. Figure out the true value. Figure out where there is opportunity to grow that value. Find new untapped potential and put some serious effort into frowing that from an empty lot into a beautiful field of flowers. Email me and tell me what you discovered.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
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