Interesting Thinking

I am working on a line of thinking that I don't have fleshed out but I have people asking for a post so let's do this!

I was talking to my daughter (I was blessed to get a daughter when I married my wife in 2014)  She asked me why it was that I never fight with her mom, my wife.  She thinks it is a bit weird for a couple to not fight from time to time, maybe even on a regular basis.  How do you answer that?  I am sorry for not reaching the specified fight quota for the day, week, month, year?  Some have said that when there is nothing to fight about there is a lack of passion.  HA.  Seriously?  So my daughter, and some experts apparently, are of the opinion that fighting is a normal thing and pretty much a requirement.

Hog wash.

I reject that idea on it's face alone.  I am no Bible scholar but I just don't recall men of God who loved their wives yelling at them, or beating them, or giving them the silent treatment, or some other form of punishment and/or fighting with them.  I still stand by a previous blog I wrote years and years ago where I establish the Relationship Energy theorem.  When a relationship is good and there is trust, respect, integrity, love, adoration, then you will draw energy from it and it will refresh you.  When a relationship lacks those building blocks for whatever reason, you will fight, and the relationship will suck energy from you and leave you drained and miserable.

I intend to continue my approach to my marriage because it is successful.  I intend to continue giving my wife more than she asks for.  More than she expects. 

more to come...back to work.

The Same Page

I have seen many relationships that I believe had the ability to stand the test of time somehow enter a tailspin that they could not recover from.  Is it worse to be on the sidelines watching a couple that you know and love make all the wrong decisions and push their once magical relationship closer and closer toward destruction...or is it worse to be a participant in that demise?  I have been both far more than I had ever hoped.
What do you do when you see it happening?  Regardless of whether you are in the relationship or an observer, you feel so absolutely paralyzed that there is just about nothing you can do.  How do you convince someone that their decisions are destructive to their amazing relationship?  It almost never works because the person making the decisions almost always justifies them.  Only after the relationship has been killed and buried do they have the hindsight to see what was happening.  Sadly, many refuse to see it regardless of how big a wake the leave.  I know I hate to admit that things I have done (and still do sometimes) contributed or flat out ensured a relationship failed.  It is not easy to set aside pride and ego and to change behaviors.  Muscle memory, or learned behavior, is very difficult to change.
Being on the same page as the person you are in a relationship is the key to success.  You don't have to agree on everything.  That is just not going to happen.  But for big ticket items you do need to be on the same page or there will be grief that you may not be able to overcome.  To make matters worse, when you recognize that you are not on the same page and you begin to take constructive steps toward resolution, nothing is more demoralizing than finding out your partner is simply not interested in bridging the gap.  What happens next?  Enter resentment for starters.  Fear, insecurity, anger to name a few others.
I am watching this happen in several relationships now.  It is sad when I play back conversations where I told them that this issue will turn into this if you don't change things now.  Being right is certainly a horrible feeling.  Sometimes the only hope to a correction is immediately upon recognition of the problem.  Allowing it to breath life for any length of time entrenches the issue and makes digging it out by the roots a near impossibility.  That is also a horrible feeling to come to that realization. 
Many great relationships are ruined by indifference to how you are being treated.  Many by simple ignorance.  Many by willful denial. 
I pray for the 2 couples I see struggling at this moment.  I see how they planted seeds, all 4 of them, that brought them to the where they stand now.  I hope it is not too late to change course and resolve to stay together and resolve to get on the same page over big relationship destroying issues.

What do you think?

Email me:  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

Heartwork:  reflection.  Analyze your relationship and see where you are not on the same page as your partner.  As subtle as you possibly can, start a change in your own life to fix that. 

The Staying Kind

A few years back I was having a very intense discussion with someone about decisions people make when they are involved in an unhealthy relationship.  Why do people stay silent?  Why are some so unwilling to work on their problems and salvage what was once a good thing?  Why do people stay with someone who abuses them?  (Abuse comes in many forms, not just beatings)  Why do people actually go out of their way to justify the behaviors of the person they are in a bad relationship with?  Why?  Because we are the staying kind.  We find it is easier to accept the deteriorating relationship than it is to do what it takes to find the exit and leave.  Staying is so much easier.  And let's face it...we romanticize about a crazy possibility that the relationship will fix itself and we can go back to being happy and in love.

Well guess what.  It almost never happens.  The person we are in a bad relationship with has become comfortable with things and are often unwilling to even discuss the issues with us, never mind find a solution.  They think the mean comments are justified because we provoked them.  They think we are overreacting and insecure when we question them about inappropriate texting or snap chats.  They think we needed to be put in our place when we get upset over their already bad behavior.  They find ways to justify the way they treat us and that means they discount the need to find healing with us.

I spent far too long in bad relationships trying to keep a stiff upper lip.  Trying to be brave.  Trying to explain to myself that it will get better and they will come around.  I learned my lesson.  It took far too long to realize that being the staying kind is a losing proposition.  There is someone out there looking for me.  Someone who will love me and respect me and adore me.  And they can't find me if I am trapped in a bad relationship with someone who simply does not care enough to fix things.  So I decided I was not going to be the staying kind anymore.  I don't want to wake up one day and look back on more days than I should and be sorry I missed out on something better.  I turned the switch on somehow...and I got the courage to leave.  Not just leave...but never allow myself to be in that spot again.  I am mentally good with the realization that sometimes I am not what they want. 


The other day I was talking with my wife about this.  She is was upset that I told her I am not staying married regardless of how things work out.  She wanted a forever marriage with me.  I told her she has a forever marriage with me.  I am not laying the groundwork for an exit.  I am simply not going to stay if she decides to start treating me the way others have treated me in the past and think that I am going to stay because I am a good guy.  Even the ring wont trap me any more.  If she wants to see us grow old together then she needs to put all her efforts into loving me, because I putting all my effort into loving her.  Treat me with respect.  With dignity.  Love me.  Make me feel needed and wanted and welcome. 

Is that harsh?  Maybe.  Relationships end all the time, usually because the people stop liking each other or get bored or any number of understandable reasons.  I get that.  I consider that normal.  Par for the course.  But that is far different than someone destroying the relationship because they think you are going to take it.  I have had enough of being treated that way.  I may not be Brad Pitt, Leo, Denzel, you name it...but I am a good guy and I deserve the best.  Anything less...you will see the tail lights. 

Yes that is a dramatic change from my previous posts.  But I see no reason to stay when the other person treats you with so much indifference and coldness. 

More to come on this...

email me your thoughts.  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

I Deserved This

Yesterday was my birthday.  To celebrate my birthday my new wife arranged for a family BBQ on Saturday and invited my children, parents, siblings, and friends to come over and have fun.  We had a great time.  I got some really thoughtful gifts.  My nephew Noah read me the card he picked out for me.  Noah is 6 and can read at a 4th grade level.  You should have seen the glowing smile on his face as he read it.  He is so proud of himself and it warmed my heart watching him.  The entire day was magical.  I could not have asked for more.

It has been a long long long time since someone did something so nice for me.  I feel like I put a lot of effort into making others happy, and I never ask for anything in return.  The fact that she did this for me was amazing.  After everyone left she asked if I was upset, or bothered, that she organized the party.  I said no, not at all, it was wonderful.  She said "No.  YOU are wonderful and you deserve to have someone love on you the way you try to love on every in your life"

I deserved the party.  And I deserve this woman.

My life is so great.

Half Way Through - Looking Forward

We are few short days away from the 2015 half-way point.  And me personally, at age 46, consider myself be to right about my half-way point here on earth.  So it is time to do a little retrospective analysis, and plot course for the future.

I lied.  I am not going to review the past.  There is no point.  Every day we complete serves only to teach us how to conduct ourselves going forward.  We can't go back and change things, though we wish we could.  We can't replay a moment in time and try alternative approaches to a problem to see what the results would be.  Waste of time to even think about.

Everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that Ronald Reagan is my hero.  He was very much a "glass half full...well (say it with his voice) it is actually more than half full and getting better by day"  kinda guy.  That was his approach to life.  It is GREAT to be alive and tomorrow will be even better.

For the remainder of 2015 I have a number of things I want to get done.

I have taken a mortgage class and I need to take the state and federal exam to get my license.  I will get that done this month.  As soon as I do I want to help a number of my friends that are veterans get their own home. 

I have built about 80% of the fencing for my garden and barn yard area.  I need to complete that and get water and electricity out that section of the yard (I have 1.5 acres)  Get electricity to the shed and the barn, as well as hot spots along the fence line for power tools etc.

I need to transition my garden from a ground grow to a raised bed grow.  Gophers, squirrels, and RABBITS have completely wiped out this years garden.  I am so bummed.

I want to finish a flip I have had in the works for 18 months.  I can see the end of the tunnel on this one.  I want to get 1 more flip done in 2015 and use the proceeds to do 3 flips next year.

I am almost debt free.  I will be debt free with the exception of my home, my rental properties, and a vehicle payment before Christmas of this year.

I want to take a cooking class this year, and some other interesting class, at the local community college.

I have a courtyard I finished paving with brick last year.  I will put up the walls, run lighting, build the fire pit, and get that done.

OK more things to do this year on the next list.

What things are on your list to accomplish this year?

brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

The Walking Dead

No not the zombie show.  I do love that show.  Team Glenn.  Team Michonne.

Walking dead is when you are in a relationship that is going nowhere.  One or both have turned to zombies (died) and are just going through the motions without the emotions.  That is a very hard, sad, lonely place to be.

Is it over?  Only if you want it to be.  Only if it has to be.  There is always hope until you give up hope.  Does that make sense?  Nothing is beyond repair if you have reconciliation in your heart.  You can find a way to restore the life and restore the love.  But it will take both parties wanting it.  Both parties working on a solution.  Both parties committed to restoration.

I have my ideas.  But I want to hear your thoughts. 

Have you restored a relationship and brought it back to life and love?  How??

Have you TRIED to restore one and fail?  What did you try?  Did some things work and some things not work?  Tell us the good bad and ugly.

Send your thoughts...Let's see what we can come up with.

Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

Footprints

I was in church this past weekend and the Pastor made a statement that really caught me.  He said "people will enter your life, and might quietly leave.  They will leave footprints on your heart.  Some big.  Some small.  Others will stay a life time and leave the prints that matter."

We know the "Footprints" piece where the person asks Jesus about the one set of prints.  Jesus carried that person during those moments and left only His prints.

What prints are we leaving in the lives of the people we love?  Are we walking with them hand in hand, proving encouragement and direction and strength and support?  When we see our loved ones struggling with something do we try and help them find a solution?  Are we empathetic and loving and offer them an understanding shoulder?  There are often times our loved ones struggle in areas that we flat out do not agree with.  They do things we disapprove of.  Or they believe things in their hearts that we do not agree with.  In those times do we work to move them toward resolution?  Do we take a moment and say something to the effect "I do not agree with your thinking, or your decisions, or your actions, but I am going to love you through this"  Those are the footprints on their heart that they can look back on and smile because they know we went above and beyond to love them unconditionally.

What about the footprints that stomp hope and happiness from our relationship with them.  Do you ever wonder why you make the decisions you make in those moments?  I remember feeling so very betrayed by one of my children one day and openly venting about the decisions.  I had no idea he was down the hall and heard me.  Even though I was right, I was was wrong.  I hurt him.  I saw it in his eyes when he confronted me moments later.  I knew damage was done.  Damage that might take years to repair, if ever.  I regret making such a poor decision in that moment of hurt.  Are there decisions you made in a moment of uncertainty or hurt or confusion that you wish you could take back?  I have so many. 

I want the footprints I leave to be ones framed with love.  Even for those that have come and gone in my life.  Those momentary relationships with friends that were for a season.  I want them to think of me some days and say "Ya he was a great guy.  I miss that one."  I want the people I love to be at my grave many many MANY years down the road and tell stories of things I did to show them uncompromising unyielding unfailing unquestionable love. 

I want to leave big footprints. 

Resolve to Restart

Happy New Year !!!

I know everyone associates the new year with resolutions and plans to change their lives in some fashion.  So many promises we make to ourselves and others about how we plan to conduct ourselves in the "new year"  So many broken promises being made that have no hope of being lived out.  So many let downs coming.  So much heart break and ache.  Why do we do it?

The answer is simple.  Because we believe we should make the change.  It really is just that simple.  There is something that is not good for us that we are doing - like smoking or cheating or lying or eating bad food -, or something that is good for us that we are not doing - like the gym.  We THINK we want to make a change, and we make a big deal out of it.  But it just doesn't get very far.  If we are lucky...we make it to February 1.  sad I know.

So let me ask you this.  Why wait for December 31 to make a promise you have no intentions of keeping?  Why not just let them fly fast and furious.  Since they have no real value anyway, just wake up every day and rattle off the nonsense you would as though it were 12/31/201? at 11:59PM.

Problem solved.  Right?

Or what you could do is actually decide that the people in our lives are more important to us than empty promises made to them, and ourselves.  You may think it doesn't hurt them to conduct yourself in a way that you would utterly embarrassed if your children found out it...but it does.  Because they will find out.  They will know.  You may think it is your personal life decision to smoke, or use recreational drugs, or drink too much, but you are making decisions that affect the people you love most.  You may think having lunch with the cute receptionist is OK because she knows you are in a relationship, and she is too.  Stop it.  It is NOT OK.  You may think your partner knows you love them.  TELL THEM.  Every day.  Show them.  Every day.

Chose them.  Make the changes that protect them.  That protect your family.  Your relationships.  Your integrity.  Your children.  Your career.  Your health. 

Make a change for the people that matter to you.

If you don't.  They don't matter.  It really is that simple.

Side note:  I got married :)  12-13-14.  Epic Day.  Epic Love.  Epic Life.

Share your ideas.  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

The Best Gift

OK before I start let me be clear about something.  The BEST gift was the one God gave mankind when He sent His son to die for us.  There is no disputing that.  That being said, I want to share a quick thought on relationships.

The best gift you can give someone if your love.  This all-encompassing idea includes your efforts, your energies, your time, your devotion, your availability, your loyalty, your fidelity, your trust, your respect.  The list is long I know. 

As Christmas fast approaches I hope everyone takes a minute to examine their relationships and give the things that are missing.  Trust me, it is the best gift you can give YOURSELF.  YES!  SELFISH!  SO WHAT!!

I have come to realize that the more I love my girl, the more love I get in return.  When I look at her with that look that tells her I love what I see, it always produces the biggest smiles on her face.  That my friends is the circle of happiness.  I crave seeing her smile.  I crave hearing the happiness in her voice.  I crave the responses I get from her.  And I know when I love her with my actions and my emotions and my efforts, I will get those responses from her.

If you have someone loving you like that...Thank God for the gift they are in your life.  If not, ask God for a gift like that.  Ask God to BE a gift like that.  The rewards are amazing.

Merry Christmas my friends.

I Just Called - Stevie Wonder

I know I said I was pretty much done with the song idea...BUT I wanted to add this to the list because of the wonderful ideas presented in the song.

I just called to say I love you.  I just sent you a text for no reason to let you know I am thinking about you.  (I abbreviate that as TAY)  I just sent you an email that says "I thank God for sending you to me"  simple as that...and wow does that work wonders for your relationship.

KISS.  Keep it simple, silly.  Do the simple things that are often neglected, overlooked, or simply not "important"  I said before and I will say it again...open the car door for her.  Let her friends and family see you do that and you will come around and sit in the drivers seat and look over to see a girl grinning from ear to ear.  Her friends and family just saw you love her.  They saw you spoil her.  They saw you tell her she is important to you.  And she is in heaven.

The little things like that are big in a relationship.  They let her know your love is not just an emotion that will fade.  Your love is an action.  A VERB.  It is something that can be physically witnessed by her and those watching.  You taking the time to do things for her that proactively show her you love her will reap amazing rewards not only in your relationship, but in those around you.  Your children will see it and they will come to expect it in their relationship.  How many times have you heard someone say they wish their daughter (or son) was treated better by the boy/girl friend?  They wonder why the child allows themselves to be treated poorly.  Well heck, they only know what they see.  And if they see a less than loving relationship devoid of affection and RESPECT, then why should they expect to be treated with affection and respect?

Be an example in your relationship to your family, your friends, your children.  Do things that demonstrate your love for your partner.  You might be surprised to hear them say "I have never had someone love me the way you love me." 

no song lyrics...we know the song by heart don't we?

HEARTWORK:  Do it.  Call them and tell them you love them.  Text them.  Email them.  Open her door.  Bring him water when he is working in the yard.  SHOW them you are thinking about them.  Show them you are loving them out loud :)

Email me with your ideas:  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

When Love Finds You - Vince Gill

I wanted to close out the song concept with a slow, powerful, thought-provoking post.  I spent a lot of time going over every song I could think of and for some reason I kept coming back to this one.  Why?  Because it is a game-changer to how we go about finding and falling in love.  You see, we are taught to think we have to go find love.  That we need hunt love.  Then spot it.  Then chase it.  Then catch it.  Then pray to God that we can keep it.  What if that is the wrong way.  What if it is the reason we are not finding or keeping the love we so desperately crave?  

Here is a new way of thinking.  Let love find you.

HOW?

I have seen so many Facebook posts that say “Stop praying for the perfect girl.  Pray to be the perfect guy.”  Pray and ask God to make you the most amazing partner you could possibly be.  Pray and ask God to mold you and shape you into a person that someone would consider an amazing gift from God.  Be the person you are hoping to find.  And let them find YOU.

There is a line in a Lee Roy Parnell song that I LOVE.  “If you look long you will find the one who was looking for you.”  Do you get it?  There is someone out there looking for you.  Maybe you don’t realize that yet.  But there is.  And they can’t find you because you are running out like a wild soul looking for them!  STOP.  Grab hold of that concept that when you are lost you stand still, and let the search party find you.  Otherwise you seem to stay one step ahead of them and they won’t locate you.  

You see, it is then that you least expect it, that something amazing will happen.  God will open the right door and the right person will be there.  In the flesh.  Smiling at you because they know you are the one they asked God to send to them.  They found you.  (With a little help from God) 

What now?

Give it all you can give it when your love comes around.  God has given you an amazing gift.  A hand-picked love that you asked Him for.  How amazing is that?!?!  

Make sure you take every moment you can to grow your love with that person.  Celebrate in your heart every morning that God blessed you.  Make sure they know that you are so happy to have them.  Make sure there is no doubt.  LOVE THEM.  In word – That means tell them every single day.  In action – That means show them every single day.  In Behavior – that means when they don’t see what you are doing you are loving them.  In eternity – That means you pray for them.  In life – that means you support them and protect them and defend them.  LOVE THEM.

"When Love Finds You"

Love sure is something no one can explain
It can bring you such joy, it can bring you pain
And with every emotion, love puts us through
There's nothing you can say, when love finds you

Love is the power that makes your heart beat
It can make you move mountains, make you drop to your knees
When it finally hits you, you won't know what to do
There's nothin' you can say, when love finds you

[Chorus:]
Give it all you can give it, when your love comes around
If you put your heart in it, then it won't let you down
You'll find out it's true, baby, someday when love finds you

And when you least expect it, it will finally come true
There's nothing you can say when love finds you

[Chorus]

You'll find out it's true, baby, someday when love finds you

HEARTWORK:  Do you have a love in your life?  If you do then make sure you are doing everything in your power to keep them.  If you don’t have someone, STOP.  Be Still and Know that God loves you.  Ask God for the right person for you.  Never ask him for the desires of YOUR heart.  Ask God to give you the desires of HIS heart for you.  

If there was a song you thought would be great to discuss then email me.  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw

Every day we wake up we have are given the gift of another day.  What are we doing with that gift?  Do we find ways to show (not just tell) the people that we love that we love them?  Are we finding ways to be a better person?  Are we finding ways to make the most out of our day?  Of our life!?!?!  Or are we wasting it away, neglecting all the most important things.  We all know the death bed discussion.  Will someone wish they spent more time at the office?  Or home loving their family?  Will they be sad at that moment for the person that they were their whole life?  Or will they be there rejoicing with those loved ones replaying all the wonderful memories of a life well lived?

I was finally the husband that most the time I wasn't. I am a big believer in better late than never but why so late?  Why in the world do we start being good to the one person who should mean the most to us only when the end is near?  The end of a life, or of the relationship?  Why did we squander so much opportunity to be good to them?  To be loyal?  Loving?  Caring?  Understanding?  Attentive?  The list can go on, you know that.  Add in there all the things you KNOW you are neglecting and ask why?

TODAY is the day that changes.  TODAY is the day you make things right, and you set your heart on a different course.  TODAY is the day of the epiphany.  When you realize all you have to lose if you don't change direction.  TODAY you make a step in the right direction because you love them.  Don't wait until the end  is upon you.  DO IT NOW!

All of a sudden finding time for our loved ones was not such an imposition.  Wow.  We make time for such worthless meaningless fruitless things in our lives and miss out on the ones that are most important.  I thank God I was there at 90% of all my kids sports games, school events, memorable moments.  I am sad that I was not able to make it 100% I wonder about dad's that miss their childs lives.  Miss out on seeing them grow and do things.  It kills me to think back on opportunities I had to spend more time with them and I made a bad decision.

Love Deeper.  Speak Sweeter.  Give forgiveness you have been denying.  Powerful words.  I tell you now I wake up in the morning and I pray for patience, kindness, understanding, compassion, generosity.  I tell you that I have forgiven those that wronged me and I pray God bless them and pour out abundance on their lives. I harbor no ill feelings that I am aware of, and if so, I pray God help me resolve those.

Tomorrow is a gift.  Great.  But we are not starting tomorrow.  We are starting NOW.  RIGHT NOW.  Start SHOWING them that you love them.  Be a better partner in your relationship.  Not in word.  IN DEED.  Dont tell them you are going to change.  CHANGE.  Dont tell them you are going to be kind and loving.   DO IT. Don't wait until you are at exit to start.  Don't make that mistake.  Or you will find you are nothing more than a memory.  And not a pleasant one at that.


He said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,

[Chorus]

I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.

[Chorus]

Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.

[Chorus]
Sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.


HEARTWORK:  Make amends today for the things you have done.  Commit to being a loving partner, parent, or friend. Tell your partner, children, friends, the things they need to hear, and then SHOW THEM the things they need to see. Live like you knew tomorrow was it.  (But be smart...don't gamble your home away silly !!  Plan to be there for a lifetime still)

I Just Call You MINE - Martina McBride

This song is nothing short of amazing.  Every man alive should pray that this is how the woman in his life views him.  Every man alive should read the lyrics, watch the video, and make a conscious effort to become this kind of man.  We often hear people say they are searching for someone to complete them.  Someone to make them whole.  Someone perfect for them.  Why not take a look at a song like this and flip the script!  YOU become perfect for someone.  YOU wake up every morning with the simple goal of being everything for your partner that they need.  YOU work on being a better YOU.  Find ways to be a better friend to everyone.  Find ways to be the person that others can count on.  Be the person that everyone wants to know.  Be the person that brings smiles to everyone’s face when you enter the room.  

Read the words this woman feels in her heart about the man she is clearly in love with.  “I’d be a fool not to see or even worse, to forget, that you’re more than I deserve.”  “I fall apart and just a word from you somehow seems to fix whatever is wrong.”  “Nothing makes sense when you’re not here.”  “You’re the dream that I’ve been chasing after years of waiting for a chance to finally shine.”

Do you get that?  She waited for years for a man like this, and he makes her shine.  Do you make your partner shine?  Do you find ways to show them how much value they have?  How valuable to you they are?  Do you realize that people are treasures that are often overlooked and under-valued.  And a wise and loving soul will see the treasure and shine it up and hold it up for the whole world to see what they hold in their hand.  Are you shining your treasure?  If not, why not?  Tell me.

She is in a dream.  Her life is a dream come true.  Thanks to this man.  What can you do in your relationship to be this man?  Ladies what could you do to be this kind of woman?  Every day I wake up I pray for patience, kindness, understanding, compassion, and a list of qualities I want to be the building blocks of my character.  I ask they flow into my relationship so I can be this man.  What is on your list?

I pinch myself Sometimes to make sure I'm not in a dream.  That's how it seems

I close my eyes and breathe in the sweetest moments I've ever known.  It feels like home

And here I am.  I want to be your everything

There you are.  Turning winter into spring

And everyone that sees you Always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you Always has a smile

You're a standing ovation

After take years of waiting For a chance to finally shine

Everyone calls you amazing.  Yeahhhh.

I just call you mine

I fall apart And just a word from you

Somehow seems to fix Whatever's wrong.  Ohh

You reach into the weakest moments and remind me that I'm strong

You gotta know I'd be a fool not to see or even worse to forget

That you're more than I deserve

Cause everyone that sees you

Always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you

Always has a smile

You're a standing ovation

After take years of waiting

For a chance to finally shine

Everyone calls you amazing

I just call you mine

Nothing makes sense when you're not here

As if my whole world disappears

Without you what's the point of it

Cause everyone that sees you

Always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you

Always has a smile

You're the dream that I've been chasing

After years of waiting

For a chance to finally shine

Everyone calls you amazing

I just call you mine

HEARTWORK:  Write down a list of things you need to change to start becoming this man.  This woman.  Write down things you will change, things will stop doing, things you will start doing.   Create a mission statement for your relationship.  WHERAS she is the love of my life, WHERAS she is the blessing from GOD I prayed for, WHERAS I could never be happy without her, THEREFORE I RESOLVE….well?  What do you resolve?

Email me your list.  brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks

One of the most rewarding aspects of a good relationship is deep heartfelt friendship.  It’s in knowing that the other person is there when you need them most in your life.  It’s in knowing that you are there for them when they are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.  Being there for each other and knowing you have someone in your life that has your back and wants to be there for you through all of life’s ups and down is nothing short of wonderful.

How do we make this happen?  Simple.  Live the song lyrics.  Be that person.  When the rain is blowing in their face and the whole world is on their case give them a hug and tell them you love them.  Tell them it will be ok and you will get through it together.  Emphasize together.  Let them know they are not alone.  Smile at them.  Tell them you are there.  Make them feel your love.

How many times have we gone to bed alone?  Feeling isolated and forgotten?  Feeling like we don’t have the courage to get back up and face the next day?  How many failed relationships have we cried over?  How many mistakes have we replayed over and over only to bring more pain?  It all ends when that special someone comes into our lives and closes that door on the past.  They make the past a bad dream, and the future is once again full of hope and promise.  When then come along make sure you see what you found.  Make sure you never forget what life was like before they came along.  Make sure you appreciate where you are now and how you got there and what it means to be in their life and be in a good place.  The sun has set on the past, and now there is someone who has dried your tears.  They are ready to hold you for the rest of your life.  Do you have that person?  Thank God for your blessing.  Are you that person?  Pray and ask God to make you that person for the one in your life.

I know me.  When the person I am in a relationship wants something I will move heaven and earth to make it happen if it is within my power.  There is nothing that I would not do to see a smile on my girls face.  Nothing I would not try, nothing I would not give, nothing I would not sacrifice, if I could.  Mind you this is within reason.  Obviously if they want you to do something crazy that violates your morals or integrity of the relationship that is a non-starter.  I mean things within reason.  I would do anything to make them feel my love.  Can you say that?  If not, why not?

We owe it to them, and to ourselves, to be everything for them.  And trust me when I say that doing so is easy.  When you love them with all your heart doing for them is a pleasure and gives you energy.  It is not a burden or a drain.  It is empowering and it grows your love for them even more.  You are investing in your relationship, and the returns on that investment are priceless.

When the rain is blowing in your face,

And the whole world is on your case,

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,

And there is no one there to dry your tears,

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,

But I will never do you wrong.

I've known it from the moment that we met,

No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,

And I'd go crawling down the avenue.

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret.

The winds of change are blowing wild and free,

You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.

Nothing that I wouldn't do.

Go to the ends of the Earth for you,

To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

 HEARTWORK:  Are you doing everything to make them feel your love?  If not then you should tell them what you are going to change and why.   Are they doing everything?  If yes then tell them how glad you are to have them in your life.  If not, tell them what you need them to change.