The Same Page

I have seen many relationships that I believe had the ability to stand the test of time somehow enter a tailspin that they could not recover from.  Is it worse to be on the sidelines watching a couple that you know and love make all the wrong decisions and push their once magical relationship closer and closer toward destruction...or is it worse to be a participant in that demise?  I have been both far more than I had ever hoped.
What do you do when you see it happening?  Regardless of whether you are in the relationship or an observer, you feel so absolutely paralyzed that there is just about nothing you can do.  How do you convince someone that their decisions are destructive to their amazing relationship?  It almost never works because the person making the decisions almost always justifies them.  Only after the relationship has been killed and buried do they have the hindsight to see what was happening.  Sadly, many refuse to see it regardless of how big a wake the leave.  I know I hate to admit that things I have done (and still do sometimes) contributed or flat out ensured a relationship failed.  It is not easy to set aside pride and ego and to change behaviors.  Muscle memory, or learned behavior, is very difficult to change.
Being on the same page as the person you are in a relationship is the key to success.  You don't have to agree on everything.  That is just not going to happen.  But for big ticket items you do need to be on the same page or there will be grief that you may not be able to overcome.  To make matters worse, when you recognize that you are not on the same page and you begin to take constructive steps toward resolution, nothing is more demoralizing than finding out your partner is simply not interested in bridging the gap.  What happens next?  Enter resentment for starters.  Fear, insecurity, anger to name a few others.
I am watching this happen in several relationships now.  It is sad when I play back conversations where I told them that this issue will turn into this if you don't change things now.  Being right is certainly a horrible feeling.  Sometimes the only hope to a correction is immediately upon recognition of the problem.  Allowing it to breath life for any length of time entrenches the issue and makes digging it out by the roots a near impossibility.  That is also a horrible feeling to come to that realization. 
Many great relationships are ruined by indifference to how you are being treated.  Many by simple ignorance.  Many by willful denial. 
I pray for the 2 couples I see struggling at this moment.  I see how they planted seeds, all 4 of them, that brought them to the where they stand now.  I hope it is not too late to change course and resolve to stay together and resolve to get on the same page over big relationship destroying issues.

What do you think?

Email me:  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

Heartwork:  reflection.  Analyze your relationship and see where you are not on the same page as your partner.  As subtle as you possibly can, start a change in your own life to fix that.