Most of the emails I have received the past few days have
asked a couple general questions: Is it
ok for my ex to be on my Facebook if we have kids together? Shouldn’t my partner trust me and know I am just
talking to my ex, not messing around with them.
Let’s start with Facebook.
My answer is an absolute NO.
There is absolutely NO good reason for an ex of any kind to be on your Facebook or
any other media that you can deny them membership to. That means if you can remove them as
followers of twitter, Instagram, linkedin, flickr, whatever, then you
should. “But they will want to see pics
of the kids…etc” I heard that in every single email sent. Here is my response to that. Let them take their own pictures and create
their own memories with their children.
If the children have their own accounts they can friend/follow
them. They do NOT need a front row seat
in your life. Period.
“What about issues regarding the children. After all we are co-parents” I agree with
that 100% and I say it is fine to phone, text, email any/all issues you need to
discuss without hesitation. You should
be on the same page with all needed information (school, Medical, etc) But if
Johnny hit a homerun and wants to tell the other parent let Johnny call. You should not make that call. Johnny should.
What if Johnny is being mean to the dog? OK yes.
Call your ex and talk about what may be wrong. Seek to find the source and work out a
solution. The difference between your
children’s well-being and their social life with you are two very different
things. I hope you can take these very
basic examples and extrapolate them into other real-life scenarios you will
face.
What about “trust?”
Should my partner know where they stand and just trust me? I got this from every single person that did not mention
children (and a large number that did). So I considered this a “theme” concept
that I wanted to discuss.
Let’s take a very different look at this idea. Let’s say for this discussion that I am a
lost soul. I know I am empty
inside. Lost. Yearning to reconcile with the One who
created my soul. The problem is I am not
sure what that means. So I begin a
quest. I spend some time in the Hindu
religion praying to Parabrahman. I enjoy
this relationship yet I know it is not fulfilling me so I move on. I try Buddhism next. Buddha is good for me. I find relaxation and comfort yet I know I am
still unsatisfied in my soul. So I move
on and try religion X. Still no
satisfaction. Finally I hear the good
news of the Gospel and I ask Jesus into my heart. I get saved.
Everything I have been searching for has been found. My soul is satisfied and I feel reconciled to
my maker.
What do I do about my prior religious experiments? Can I keep the symbols from Hinduism I have
collected? Can I keep my Buddha statue
and the pictures of him in my phone? I
know he didn’t send them but I have them nonetheless. They are just pictures
right? Can I still pray to Buddha? He
really helped me through some very difficult times. And since Jesus lives in my heart now and He
knows my heart belongs to Him, He will be OK with me praying to gods I enjoyed
prior me becoming a Christian…right?
Because He knows my heart. Right?
I think I will let you draw your own conclusions to what I
think about this issue. If you think it
is ok to do those things then email me and I will send you the scripture that
tells us otherwise. If you have connected
the dots on the parable then good for you.
Well done.
I think that will do it for this installment. I have a lot more to say about both questions
and I might depending on the feedback I get from this post. You tell me where we should take the
discussion.
Thank you again for all your feedback.
