Sex and Making Love

Hello again.

We have taken quick looks at the idea of a soul mate and the difference between love and being in love. I personally don’t think we have scratched the surface on either of these ideas but I want to keep pressing on. I want to bring more ideas into the discussion to see what the possibilities are because the more we brain storm these topics of the heart the more we might learn about ourselves. The more we will see. The more we may understand. That is ultimately my goal here in this whole brain-storming blog, to try and make sense of a life I feel makes no sense. Clear away the confusion and have the clouds blow away.

This time let’s look at the difference between having sex and making love. Why go here? It is the final piece to our puzzle. Part 1 we talked about our souls. Part 2 was about our hearts. This will be about our bodies. Some people say body mind and spirit but you get the idea. I think for the relationship to be at its absolute best you need all 3 components working seamlessly together. Confession: For me, anything less than that is missing out on life.

OK. Let’s brain storm.

Isn’t making love what we are doing when we are having sex? Isn’t sex with our partner considered making love? Are they not our lover? The one we give ourselves to? The one we bear all and share all with? Certainly it’s making love because we said “let’s make love” and we had sex. Our partners think we are making love. So we are. Right?

How can it just be sex if I had an orgasm or two? What if it was a really good orgasm? Can it be just sex if I really like it? Doesn’t all that mean its love making? I mean come on it is rocking my world and I can’t wait for more!

NO. Sex is the physical component of love making. Any two people can have sex. And it can be good. Great even. But that doesn’t mean they made love. Not in my book. If there isn’t a deep emotion or spiritual connection with your partner then I don’t care how passionate or romantic or wonderful the session was, if was just good sex.

Now don’t get me wrong I love good sex. But I am not simply looking for good sex. Are you? If you plan to be a regular reader of this blog then I believe you want more. As a brain-stormer, we know that good enough just isn’t good enough. We want it all and I think we would all agree that love making does in fact require a deep connection between both people.

Making love is not a process or an event or an encounter. It’s a physical expression of a powerful combination of love, devotion, passion, adoration, affection, and respect. It cannot be manufactured. It is the undeniable result of a genuinely loving relationship.

Can love making be a quickie? Yes it can. Can it be a warm caress passing in the hall way. Oh ya. What about a soft kiss while you hold her face? You bet. How about cuddling on the couch while watching a movie or a tv show? I think yes. It is also holding hands. It is talking to each other (not making noise but really talking). Sending hot text messages. Massages. Tickles. Kissing…no not pecks. KISSING like you were dating still.

Life is short. Don’t cheat yourself. Find your soul mate. Fall in love. Spend your life making love with that person. In 50 years from now look back on your life and smile. Don’t look back with regrets.

HEART WORK: We began brain-storming the 3 pieces that make us who we are. Soul, Heart, Body. What I want you to do is write each one down and see if you can identify 3 honest things in each category that tell you where you stand. Is he/she your soul mate? Why? What are 3 things that tell you that? If not, what is missing? If you have more add them to the list. Figure out where you are in your relationship and see if you have ideas for fixing it.

Any ideas or thoughts or questions you have feel free to email me. I will put them together into a posting and we can brain-storm them together.