The Best Gift

OK before I start let me be clear about something.  The BEST gift was the one God gave mankind when He sent His son to die for us.  There is no disputing that.  That being said, I want to share a quick thought on relationships.

The best gift you can give someone if your love.  This all-encompassing idea includes your efforts, your energies, your time, your devotion, your availability, your loyalty, your fidelity, your trust, your respect.  The list is long I know. 

As Christmas fast approaches I hope everyone takes a minute to examine their relationships and give the things that are missing.  Trust me, it is the best gift you can give YOURSELF.  YES!  SELFISH!  SO WHAT!!

I have come to realize that the more I love my girl, the more love I get in return.  When I look at her with that look that tells her I love what I see, it always produces the biggest smiles on her face.  That my friends is the circle of happiness.  I crave seeing her smile.  I crave hearing the happiness in her voice.  I crave the responses I get from her.  And I know when I love her with my actions and my emotions and my efforts, I will get those responses from her.

If you have someone loving you like that...Thank God for the gift they are in your life.  If not, ask God for a gift like that.  Ask God to BE a gift like that.  The rewards are amazing.

Merry Christmas my friends.

I Just Called - Stevie Wonder

I know I said I was pretty much done with the song idea...BUT I wanted to add this to the list because of the wonderful ideas presented in the song.

I just called to say I love you.  I just sent you a text for no reason to let you know I am thinking about you.  (I abbreviate that as TAY)  I just sent you an email that says "I thank God for sending you to me"  simple as that...and wow does that work wonders for your relationship.

KISS.  Keep it simple, silly.  Do the simple things that are often neglected, overlooked, or simply not "important"  I said before and I will say it again...open the car door for her.  Let her friends and family see you do that and you will come around and sit in the drivers seat and look over to see a girl grinning from ear to ear.  Her friends and family just saw you love her.  They saw you spoil her.  They saw you tell her she is important to you.  And she is in heaven.

The little things like that are big in a relationship.  They let her know your love is not just an emotion that will fade.  Your love is an action.  A VERB.  It is something that can be physically witnessed by her and those watching.  You taking the time to do things for her that proactively show her you love her will reap amazing rewards not only in your relationship, but in those around you.  Your children will see it and they will come to expect it in their relationship.  How many times have you heard someone say they wish their daughter (or son) was treated better by the boy/girl friend?  They wonder why the child allows themselves to be treated poorly.  Well heck, they only know what they see.  And if they see a less than loving relationship devoid of affection and RESPECT, then why should they expect to be treated with affection and respect?

Be an example in your relationship to your family, your friends, your children.  Do things that demonstrate your love for your partner.  You might be surprised to hear them say "I have never had someone love me the way you love me." 

no song lyrics...we know the song by heart don't we?

HEARTWORK:  Do it.  Call them and tell them you love them.  Text them.  Email them.  Open her door.  Bring him water when he is working in the yard.  SHOW them you are thinking about them.  Show them you are loving them out loud :)

Email me with your ideas:  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

When Love Finds You - Vince Gill

I wanted to close out the song concept with a slow, powerful, thought-provoking post.  I spent a lot of time going over every song I could think of and for some reason I kept coming back to this one.  Why?  Because it is a game-changer to how we go about finding and falling in love.  You see, we are taught to think we have to go find love.  That we need hunt love.  Then spot it.  Then chase it.  Then catch it.  Then pray to God that we can keep it.  What if that is the wrong way.  What if it is the reason we are not finding or keeping the love we so desperately crave?  

Here is a new way of thinking.  Let love find you.

HOW?

I have seen so many Facebook posts that say “Stop praying for the perfect girl.  Pray to be the perfect guy.”  Pray and ask God to make you the most amazing partner you could possibly be.  Pray and ask God to mold you and shape you into a person that someone would consider an amazing gift from God.  Be the person you are hoping to find.  And let them find YOU.

There is a line in a Lee Roy Parnell song that I LOVE.  “If you look long you will find the one who was looking for you.”  Do you get it?  There is someone out there looking for you.  Maybe you don’t realize that yet.  But there is.  And they can’t find you because you are running out like a wild soul looking for them!  STOP.  Grab hold of that concept that when you are lost you stand still, and let the search party find you.  Otherwise you seem to stay one step ahead of them and they won’t locate you.  

You see, it is then that you least expect it, that something amazing will happen.  God will open the right door and the right person will be there.  In the flesh.  Smiling at you because they know you are the one they asked God to send to them.  They found you.  (With a little help from God) 

What now?

Give it all you can give it when your love comes around.  God has given you an amazing gift.  A hand-picked love that you asked Him for.  How amazing is that?!?!  

Make sure you take every moment you can to grow your love with that person.  Celebrate in your heart every morning that God blessed you.  Make sure they know that you are so happy to have them.  Make sure there is no doubt.  LOVE THEM.  In word – That means tell them every single day.  In action – That means show them every single day.  In Behavior – that means when they don’t see what you are doing you are loving them.  In eternity – That means you pray for them.  In life – that means you support them and protect them and defend them.  LOVE THEM.

"When Love Finds You"

Love sure is something no one can explain
It can bring you such joy, it can bring you pain
And with every emotion, love puts us through
There's nothing you can say, when love finds you

Love is the power that makes your heart beat
It can make you move mountains, make you drop to your knees
When it finally hits you, you won't know what to do
There's nothin' you can say, when love finds you

[Chorus:]
Give it all you can give it, when your love comes around
If you put your heart in it, then it won't let you down
You'll find out it's true, baby, someday when love finds you

And when you least expect it, it will finally come true
There's nothing you can say when love finds you

[Chorus]

You'll find out it's true, baby, someday when love finds you

HEARTWORK:  Do you have a love in your life?  If you do then make sure you are doing everything in your power to keep them.  If you don’t have someone, STOP.  Be Still and Know that God loves you.  Ask God for the right person for you.  Never ask him for the desires of YOUR heart.  Ask God to give you the desires of HIS heart for you.  

If there was a song you thought would be great to discuss then email me.  Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw

Every day we wake up we have are given the gift of another day.  What are we doing with that gift?  Do we find ways to show (not just tell) the people that we love that we love them?  Are we finding ways to be a better person?  Are we finding ways to make the most out of our day?  Of our life!?!?!  Or are we wasting it away, neglecting all the most important things.  We all know the death bed discussion.  Will someone wish they spent more time at the office?  Or home loving their family?  Will they be sad at that moment for the person that they were their whole life?  Or will they be there rejoicing with those loved ones replaying all the wonderful memories of a life well lived?

I was finally the husband that most the time I wasn't. I am a big believer in better late than never but why so late?  Why in the world do we start being good to the one person who should mean the most to us only when the end is near?  The end of a life, or of the relationship?  Why did we squander so much opportunity to be good to them?  To be loyal?  Loving?  Caring?  Understanding?  Attentive?  The list can go on, you know that.  Add in there all the things you KNOW you are neglecting and ask why?

TODAY is the day that changes.  TODAY is the day you make things right, and you set your heart on a different course.  TODAY is the day of the epiphany.  When you realize all you have to lose if you don't change direction.  TODAY you make a step in the right direction because you love them.  Don't wait until the end  is upon you.  DO IT NOW!

All of a sudden finding time for our loved ones was not such an imposition.  Wow.  We make time for such worthless meaningless fruitless things in our lives and miss out on the ones that are most important.  I thank God I was there at 90% of all my kids sports games, school events, memorable moments.  I am sad that I was not able to make it 100% I wonder about dad's that miss their childs lives.  Miss out on seeing them grow and do things.  It kills me to think back on opportunities I had to spend more time with them and I made a bad decision.

Love Deeper.  Speak Sweeter.  Give forgiveness you have been denying.  Powerful words.  I tell you now I wake up in the morning and I pray for patience, kindness, understanding, compassion, generosity.  I tell you that I have forgiven those that wronged me and I pray God bless them and pour out abundance on their lives. I harbor no ill feelings that I am aware of, and if so, I pray God help me resolve those.

Tomorrow is a gift.  Great.  But we are not starting tomorrow.  We are starting NOW.  RIGHT NOW.  Start SHOWING them that you love them.  Be a better partner in your relationship.  Not in word.  IN DEED.  Dont tell them you are going to change.  CHANGE.  Dont tell them you are going to be kind and loving.   DO IT. Don't wait until you are at exit to start.  Don't make that mistake.  Or you will find you are nothing more than a memory.  And not a pleasant one at that.


He said I was in my early 40's,
With a lot of life before me,
And a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
I spent most of the next days, lookin' at the x-rays,
Talkin' 'bout the options and talkin' 'bout sweet time.
Asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end.
How's it hit ya, when you get that kind of news.
Man what ya do.
And he says,

[Chorus]

I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

He said I was finally the husband,
That most the time I wasn't.
And I became a friend a friend would like to have.
And all the sudden goin' fishing,
Wasn't such an imposition.
And I went three times that year I lost my dad.
Well I finally read the good book,
And I took a good long hard look at what I'd do
If I could do it all again.
And then.

[Chorus]

Like tomorrow was a gift and you've got eternity
To think about what you do with it,
What could you do with it, what can
I do with with it, what would I do with it.

[Chorus]
Sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I watched an eagle as it was flyin'.
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.
To live like you were dyin'.


HEARTWORK:  Make amends today for the things you have done.  Commit to being a loving partner, parent, or friend. Tell your partner, children, friends, the things they need to hear, and then SHOW THEM the things they need to see. Live like you knew tomorrow was it.  (But be smart...don't gamble your home away silly !!  Plan to be there for a lifetime still)

I Just Call You MINE - Martina McBride

This song is nothing short of amazing.  Every man alive should pray that this is how the woman in his life views him.  Every man alive should read the lyrics, watch the video, and make a conscious effort to become this kind of man.  We often hear people say they are searching for someone to complete them.  Someone to make them whole.  Someone perfect for them.  Why not take a look at a song like this and flip the script!  YOU become perfect for someone.  YOU wake up every morning with the simple goal of being everything for your partner that they need.  YOU work on being a better YOU.  Find ways to be a better friend to everyone.  Find ways to be the person that others can count on.  Be the person that everyone wants to know.  Be the person that brings smiles to everyone’s face when you enter the room.  

Read the words this woman feels in her heart about the man she is clearly in love with.  “I’d be a fool not to see or even worse, to forget, that you’re more than I deserve.”  “I fall apart and just a word from you somehow seems to fix whatever is wrong.”  “Nothing makes sense when you’re not here.”  “You’re the dream that I’ve been chasing after years of waiting for a chance to finally shine.”

Do you get that?  She waited for years for a man like this, and he makes her shine.  Do you make your partner shine?  Do you find ways to show them how much value they have?  How valuable to you they are?  Do you realize that people are treasures that are often overlooked and under-valued.  And a wise and loving soul will see the treasure and shine it up and hold it up for the whole world to see what they hold in their hand.  Are you shining your treasure?  If not, why not?  Tell me.

She is in a dream.  Her life is a dream come true.  Thanks to this man.  What can you do in your relationship to be this man?  Ladies what could you do to be this kind of woman?  Every day I wake up I pray for patience, kindness, understanding, compassion, and a list of qualities I want to be the building blocks of my character.  I ask they flow into my relationship so I can be this man.  What is on your list?

I pinch myself Sometimes to make sure I'm not in a dream.  That's how it seems

I close my eyes and breathe in the sweetest moments I've ever known.  It feels like home

And here I am.  I want to be your everything

There you are.  Turning winter into spring

And everyone that sees you Always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you Always has a smile

You're a standing ovation

After take years of waiting For a chance to finally shine

Everyone calls you amazing.  Yeahhhh.

I just call you mine

I fall apart And just a word from you

Somehow seems to fix Whatever's wrong.  Ohh

You reach into the weakest moments and remind me that I'm strong

You gotta know I'd be a fool not to see or even worse to forget

That you're more than I deserve

Cause everyone that sees you

Always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you

Always has a smile

You're a standing ovation

After take years of waiting

For a chance to finally shine

Everyone calls you amazing

I just call you mine

Nothing makes sense when you're not here

As if my whole world disappears

Without you what's the point of it

Cause everyone that sees you

Always wants to know you

And everyone that knows you

Always has a smile

You're the dream that I've been chasing

After years of waiting

For a chance to finally shine

Everyone calls you amazing

I just call you mine

HEARTWORK:  Write down a list of things you need to change to start becoming this man.  This woman.  Write down things you will change, things will stop doing, things you will start doing.   Create a mission statement for your relationship.  WHERAS she is the love of my life, WHERAS she is the blessing from GOD I prayed for, WHERAS I could never be happy without her, THEREFORE I RESOLVE….well?  What do you resolve?

Email me your list.  brainstorminglife@yahoo.com

To Make You Feel My Love - Garth Brooks

One of the most rewarding aspects of a good relationship is deep heartfelt friendship.  It’s in knowing that the other person is there when you need them most in your life.  It’s in knowing that you are there for them when they are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.  Being there for each other and knowing you have someone in your life that has your back and wants to be there for you through all of life’s ups and down is nothing short of wonderful.

How do we make this happen?  Simple.  Live the song lyrics.  Be that person.  When the rain is blowing in their face and the whole world is on their case give them a hug and tell them you love them.  Tell them it will be ok and you will get through it together.  Emphasize together.  Let them know they are not alone.  Smile at them.  Tell them you are there.  Make them feel your love.

How many times have we gone to bed alone?  Feeling isolated and forgotten?  Feeling like we don’t have the courage to get back up and face the next day?  How many failed relationships have we cried over?  How many mistakes have we replayed over and over only to bring more pain?  It all ends when that special someone comes into our lives and closes that door on the past.  They make the past a bad dream, and the future is once again full of hope and promise.  When then come along make sure you see what you found.  Make sure you never forget what life was like before they came along.  Make sure you appreciate where you are now and how you got there and what it means to be in their life and be in a good place.  The sun has set on the past, and now there is someone who has dried your tears.  They are ready to hold you for the rest of your life.  Do you have that person?  Thank God for your blessing.  Are you that person?  Pray and ask God to make you that person for the one in your life.

I know me.  When the person I am in a relationship wants something I will move heaven and earth to make it happen if it is within my power.  There is nothing that I would not do to see a smile on my girls face.  Nothing I would not try, nothing I would not give, nothing I would not sacrifice, if I could.  Mind you this is within reason.  Obviously if they want you to do something crazy that violates your morals or integrity of the relationship that is a non-starter.  I mean things within reason.  I would do anything to make them feel my love.  Can you say that?  If not, why not?

We owe it to them, and to ourselves, to be everything for them.  And trust me when I say that doing so is easy.  When you love them with all your heart doing for them is a pleasure and gives you energy.  It is not a burden or a drain.  It is empowering and it grows your love for them even more.  You are investing in your relationship, and the returns on that investment are priceless.

When the rain is blowing in your face,

And the whole world is on your case,

I could offer you a warm embrace

To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,

And there is no one there to dry your tears,

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,

But I will never do you wrong.

I've known it from the moment that we met,

No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,

And I'd go crawling down the avenue.

No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do

To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea

And on the highway of regret.

The winds of change are blowing wild and free,

You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.

Nothing that I wouldn't do.

Go to the ends of the Earth for you,

To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

 HEARTWORK:  Are you doing everything to make them feel your love?  If not then you should tell them what you are going to change and why.   Are they doing everything?  If yes then tell them how glad you are to have them in your life.  If not, tell them what you need them to change. 

Now That I Found You - Terri Clark

Just the idea alone that you have found someone like them is so hard to believe.  They care about you. They take their time to love you for who you really are and they don't judge you or make you feel bad.  They want to see the real you and help you open up and not hide things from them.  you can tell them all your secrets and they will still love you. 

What an amazing opening for a song.  It is a wonderful thing to find someone like this that wants to be more tomorrow than they were today.  That looks for new ways to love you and wrap you around their finger.  Life and love should be exactly like this.  Most of us have a past.  A History.  Full of things we regret and are ashamed of and embarassed.  And this person says so what.  I see the road you traveled to get here.  Turn around with me and lets look at the road ahead because that is all that matters.

I see the heavens open.  Again, another appropriate component to this song because love like this is a gift from God.  The heavens open and our lives are forever changed because of the person God sent our way.  We need to remember this truth and ensure we protect the gift God sent to us. We have something destined to make it through the good and bad times.  We have the chemistry that will give us the strength we need when we are weak.  Yes, there will be mistakes.  Yes, we will fight.  Yes, we will want to quit.  Yes, we will be afraid.  But if we keep our eyes on God and looking down the road ahead of us, nothing formed against us shall stand.  We are more than conquerers and we will be ok.  Because I found you.  Or maybe you found me.  Either way life is so good.

How can I believe
That my heart would find someone like you
You see me, the real me
No in bewteens, I had nowhere to hide
You took away the walls around me
Made me feel safe to share my truth


I see the heavens open, a heart that once was broken
Is holding nothing back
Now that I found you
You hold me like a prayer, you touch me everywhere
A lifetime just ain't enough to love you true
Now that I found you
Now that I found you

I do believe we're meant to be
Our chemistry will last forever
And through the years
We'll see some tears
We'll conquer fears
And together we will grow
Looking in your eyes
They tell me
I no longer have to feel alone

You see me, the real me
You believe in me

HEARTWORK:  Print the words to the song out and sit down together and read them to each other.  Start to finish.  Then go back and read 1 line.  And tell your spouse/partner how that relates to your relationship.  How it represents what is going on in your heart.  Explain things.  Tell them about your fears.  Tell them your secrets.  Tell them how glad you are that you have them and you can tell them these things because they are your best friend.  Take down the walls around you. 

If you can't do that.  TELL THEM.  They need to know what it is that keeps you locked away behind your walls.  Conquer your fears together. Cry together.  Cry about mistakes and missed opportunities and regrets and cry happy tears that your road looks so much different ahead than behind.  "Relationship partner, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL"

I'd Choose You Again - Forester Sisters

I have loved this song from the first time I heard it.  Absolutely heart-warming and fun.  An honest look back at a life well lived.  Here a girl is acknowledging that she is getting older, and with age comes wisdom, and now she is reflecting on the decisions she has made along the road of life.  I really like that she acknowledges mistakes made.  Some of them even come back to visit her and give her grief.  I certainly know what that feels like.  Looking at missed opportunities, errors in judgment, and just down-right regrettable decisions.  Feeling so helpless with all the “what if” and “would have” and “could have” moments in my life.

The thing I love is that she doesn’t let them keep her down.  She doesn’t have to be held hostage to those mistakes.  You really get the sense that not only does she see the mistakes, but she clearly learned the lessons and you know given a second chance those mistakes would be avoided.  She can look back and see not only the mistakes, but the best choices she has made.  And those choices are the ones she would happily repeat.  The others, yes, we all wish we could rewind time and make changes.  Erase parts of the past.  But they are part of who we are.  Did we learn anything from them?  Or did we find ways to snatch defeat right from the jaws of victory and do the same dumb thing over again?

She says if God gave her the chance to do it all again she would carefully consider those options.  Maybe make some wiser decisions.  But bottom line is she would pick that man again.  Without a doubt.  Thank the Lord for the man he gave her, and not miss a chance to say yes all over again to him.  The song is great because God is so central to the entire story being told.  Times were hard, and God sure seemed to give the easy road to others.  But regardless of how life was treating them, he had a way of making things ok.  He could comfort her and tell her it was going to be ok because they had each other. What more does anyone need when they have someone who loves them like that?  What does the world have to offer that would be worth losing that?  What is the world capable of throwing at us that could defeat us when we have that kind of love in our corner?  The love of her life kept her going and she was all he needed. 

If she could start her life anew, the first that she would do is?  Choose him again.  She knows what she has with this man and regardless of what other possibilities exist with other options, she would not make a mistake and gamble on another.  Stick with a winner.  When you have a solid victory stop looking around and wondering how you can trade your beautiful lawn for some grass just a bit greener.  Focus on the gift God has given you.  Grow that gift.  Water that lawn.  Make it the envy of all your friends and family.  Make it the example for your children.  Make it a life well lived with an unregrettable choice :)

Looking in my life
Through the eyes of a young girl growing older all the time,
Maybe just a little wiser
I can clearly see
All my mistakes keep coming back to visit me
Pointing out the roads not taken
So much I'd like to change but one thing I'd do the same

I'd choose you again, I'd choose you again
If God gave me the chance to do it all again
Oh, I'd carefully consider every choice and then
Out of all the boys in the world
I'd choose you again

Times weren't always good
Seems like the Lord gave all the easy parts away
But every time the road got rocky
You'd look at me and say
Had all you needed long as I was there with you
You're the reason I kept going
If I could start my life anew
The first thing that I would do

HEARTWORK:   Asses your life.  Write down the good and bad choices and write down what you got from them.  Rewards or lessons?  Which choices are your favorite?  Do they involve someone you love?  If so, share them.  If your choices are less than happy and they involve someone you love, tear that part of the page off and throw it away.  We are new creatures in Christ Jesus.  The past is the past.  Drop the hurt off and grab tight to the love.