Is Home Where the Heart is?

I have been really thinking about what I want to write this time. I have 4 topics I am currently working on but none of them are tugging at me too much so I spent a little time trying to figure out what was going on in my heart and mind. I analyzed all the data I have about my life and did a little processing. Something in that whole thing jumped out at me and I wanted to see what others thought.

Home. The place we are supposed to run to and escape the chaos of the world. A safe house in the war on life. A place where you feel loved and respected and care for and appreciated. Needed. Wanted. Desired even. A place that warms you up as you drive away from work. Where all those cares and concerns are supposed to magically melt away as you cross the threshold. The place where your lover is waiting for with a smile and a hug and a kiss.

What do you do when all the things you want to escape from are waiting for you at home? Petty bickering and anxiety and stress are all waiting there. Looming over the house like a dark cloud. You want to sneak in and get down the hall before they see you. You want to change with the door locked and hide in the room just a little while longer before you have to face them. You know you find words of kindness or compassion. You are going to hear about all the things you don’t do right. All the things you forgot to do. And the things you did and should not have. You are going to get a dish plate of sorrow, maybe a second helping just for good measure.

How do you handle it? Do you find the strength to persevere? Do you figure out how to deploy the Ducks Back defense? (That’s where you ignore everything and let it roll off you like water on a ducks back) Do you take the plate and tell yourself you deserve it? Its just deserts for you? Your lot in life. Do you stand up for yourself and say “Hey I am good partner and I am giving my all here so be nice to me”

What does it say about our relationship when we wake up in the morning looking forward to getting to work? Do you rush in the morning to get out of the house and free from them so you can breath? So you can get to work and feel appreciated? Loved? Do you love the feeling it gives you when colleagues say they have a problem and they come to you for help? For ideas? For solutions? Ya I sure do. Funny thing is that the smile I get lasts only as long as it takes for me to remember that I can’t figure out how solve my relationship problems. I can seem to answer everyone’s questions but my own. I can see solutions for everyone except for me.

Lunch is so pleasant. Friendly faces in your crowd. Laughing. Joking. Smiles. Flirting. Teasing. Encouragement. Stories about your kids. Sharing ideas you have for your garden or a vacation. Complaining that you cant get that last 5 pounds off and you are running out of energy for the gym! You know in your heart of hearts you want this for your life. You want this with him or her in a few short hours when you get home. You may even find yourself drifting off into a dream, a bite in your mouth still, picturing how it should be. And asking yourself why it isn’t.

Brainstorming question: How do you recapture the feeling that home is where the heart is? Can you identify the place and time when you notice you were losing that? Can you find a way to look back and say this and that happened and if I could change it here is what I think would happen? Does your partner know how you feel?

HEARTWORK: Ask yourself what changes do you need to make for yourself to have that happen? What changes do you need your partner to make? Can you make a list of things that are on your heart and sit down with them and say here is how I feel and WHY I feel this way…Can we work on this?

Your thoughts? brainstorminglife@yahoo.com