If you have ever heard the Escape song, better known as the Pina Coloda song, then you probably can guess where I want to go today.
The song says a lot about how I have been feeling lately. I have all these things running through my heart and mind that I want out of life, and I am just not getting them. So do I say to myself, Self, you are being awfully selfish dont you think? Or do I say Self, Life is SHORT. You should not let it slip by without having LIVED it.
I told someone the other day that my biggest fear would be one day waking up old and regret all the things I didnt do because I was afraid, or comfortable, or bound by some other excuse for inaction. So I started to brainstorm that idea. What WOULD I do if I really had the courage? What would I change? What would I put more effort into? What needs to go and what needs more of my attention?
OK before we go any further let me tell you where I part from the song. The woman posted her ad for the escape and she had not tried to fix things with her man. Well we have to read that into it because there is no evidence to the contrary. She should have taken the time to make sure her man knew what was on her heart. That he had a chance to step up and fix the relationship. He deserved to know that the relationship was not meeting her needs. But to fair, he didnt do that either. He replied to the ad without taking the time to talk to her.
That I think is the single biggest reason two people dont make it together. An otherwise good thing is allowed to wither and die because the lines of communication are neglected, or simply dont exist. Its even worse when you are afraid to open to him or her because of how they will respond.
OK So he is waiting for her at a bar called OMalleys. And the girl walks in. And he smiles because it is HIS woman. I guess we can say whew, they figured it out before it was too late. But why did it have to get to the point where they were Escaping before the found that this whole time they were looking for each other? I never knew that you liked Pina Coladas. Or getting caught in the rain.
HEARTWORK: Write your own personal ad. Seriously. Write an ad and ask all the questions you have in your heart. Or the most important if the list is just too big. And then give it to your partner. If you are adventurous, mail it to them.
This could be a fun exercise. I bet there are some great ad's stored up in a lot of hearts out there.
Share yours. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Resolutions
The new year is here an no doubt many resolutions have already been broken. It’s human nature to make promises to ourselves that are designed to better us. The problem is that January 1 is just another day. There really isn’t anything magical about it. A resolution doesn’t care the day you make it. The only day that matters is the day you give up on the resolution.
I want to make a resolution. I resolve to put more effort into this blog. I will work harder on new ideas and share them with you. I hope you will share your thoughts with me as well.
Let’s brainstorm resolutions. What are the most common ones people make? Ding ding ding yes if you said lose weight and get in shape you are correct. Those are the by far the two biggest ones made. Eat healthier. Quit smoking. Give to charity. Be a better spouse. A better person. The list is endless. We know where we are lacking and we put a little extra effort to change that. I applaud everyone who tries. It does take guts to admit to ourselves that we are not measuring up. But what are we really saying about ourselves? Are we really digging deep enough and targeting the real issues?
Physical fitness is central to the most common resolutions right? What about emotional fitness? Sounds silly maybe but why not? Really. If we can devise methods to exercise physically and get in better shape why can’t we devise methods to get others area of our lives in shape too? I think we can. And if that is true I would wonder why we don’t try to work on our emotional fitness.
How do we exercise our emotions? I can think of many ways. Loving someone is a good start. I have long believed that love is an action long before it is an emotion. So we can strengthen our emotions for someone by doing things for them. If you are thinking like I am right now you are trying to come up with idea for things. Where do we start? The 5 love languages offer us a solid blueprint on ideas. Gifts. Quality time. Words of Affirmation. Touch. Acts of service. Any of these will start us in the right direction.
While we are filling their tanks with love, we strengthen our emotional “muscle”. The more we do, the easier it becomes. The more we can lift, so to speak. It is tough running that first mile isn’t it? But after trying and trying and trying it becomes easier and easier. Until a mile is a warm up for a real work out. Can’t an emotional workout do the same thing for us? If we start doing things that grow our affection and love for our partner won’t we find ourselves having deeper stronger emotions?
HEARTWORK: Take the first step. Pick 1 of the items. Words of Affirmation for example. Tell your partner they look pretty, or handsome. Tell them you appreciate them, and you are grateful to have them in your life. Tell them that meal they cooked was just amazing. Put a smile on her pretty face. It doesn’t really matter where you start. Just start. Take the first step. Exercise your emotional connection with your partner and resolve to make that a strong and vibrant part of your life.
I think that is a good start for the new year. Start today. Don’t put it off until it becomes another resolution that goes unrealized. The stakes are too high for that to happen.
Oh and let me clear up something. I really am a guy. Honest.
Do you have ideas for working on your emotional fitness? Write me and share. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
I want to make a resolution. I resolve to put more effort into this blog. I will work harder on new ideas and share them with you. I hope you will share your thoughts with me as well.
Let’s brainstorm resolutions. What are the most common ones people make? Ding ding ding yes if you said lose weight and get in shape you are correct. Those are the by far the two biggest ones made. Eat healthier. Quit smoking. Give to charity. Be a better spouse. A better person. The list is endless. We know where we are lacking and we put a little extra effort to change that. I applaud everyone who tries. It does take guts to admit to ourselves that we are not measuring up. But what are we really saying about ourselves? Are we really digging deep enough and targeting the real issues?
Physical fitness is central to the most common resolutions right? What about emotional fitness? Sounds silly maybe but why not? Really. If we can devise methods to exercise physically and get in better shape why can’t we devise methods to get others area of our lives in shape too? I think we can. And if that is true I would wonder why we don’t try to work on our emotional fitness.
How do we exercise our emotions? I can think of many ways. Loving someone is a good start. I have long believed that love is an action long before it is an emotion. So we can strengthen our emotions for someone by doing things for them. If you are thinking like I am right now you are trying to come up with idea for things. Where do we start? The 5 love languages offer us a solid blueprint on ideas. Gifts. Quality time. Words of Affirmation. Touch. Acts of service. Any of these will start us in the right direction.
While we are filling their tanks with love, we strengthen our emotional “muscle”. The more we do, the easier it becomes. The more we can lift, so to speak. It is tough running that first mile isn’t it? But after trying and trying and trying it becomes easier and easier. Until a mile is a warm up for a real work out. Can’t an emotional workout do the same thing for us? If we start doing things that grow our affection and love for our partner won’t we find ourselves having deeper stronger emotions?
HEARTWORK: Take the first step. Pick 1 of the items. Words of Affirmation for example. Tell your partner they look pretty, or handsome. Tell them you appreciate them, and you are grateful to have them in your life. Tell them that meal they cooked was just amazing. Put a smile on her pretty face. It doesn’t really matter where you start. Just start. Take the first step. Exercise your emotional connection with your partner and resolve to make that a strong and vibrant part of your life.
I think that is a good start for the new year. Start today. Don’t put it off until it becomes another resolution that goes unrealized. The stakes are too high for that to happen.
Oh and let me clear up something. I really am a guy. Honest.
Do you have ideas for working on your emotional fitness? Write me and share. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Reciprocity
My last post I talked about the movie PS I Love You. To be specific, I was really touched by the statement Daniel makes to Holly when he says “I’d like to be somebody’s Gerry.”
That got me thinking about things. I have spent a lot of time here talking about how we the readers are loving our partners. Brainstormed ideas on how we could put more effort into strengthening our relationships. Came up with ways we could do more for them. Taken responsibility for the shortcomings we feel exist. Explored ways we could feel more, love deeper, give more of ourselves.
I realized I haven’t done a very good job of exploring what we may want out of life. I haven’t been selfish enough here for us. I haven’t asked what we want to get out of our relationships. What is in it for us? We want to give more but is it wrong to want to get a little in return?
Daniels single statement changed my thinking on love. In that moment as I watched him say it and I heard the words I knew they hit me hard in a new place. And as I sat here today replaying them over and over and over I had an epiphany. I realized I was only working on half of the puzzle. Not only am I looking for a great love for ME, but I want to be a great love for HER. I know what I wanted FOR me. Now I know what I want FROM me.
Gerry writes a final letter to Holly before he dies. In that letter he is thanking her for their life together. He tells her how much she moved him, and changed him. How she made him a man by loving him. He says “Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I am a man with no regrets. How lucky I am, you made my life.”
Maybe it has been obvious to you but it wasn’t to me. Maybe it goes without saying that in our effort to have a great love we automatically are that for the other person. But having a great love isn’t the same as being a great love. I want to be able to write that letter to the woman I share my life with. But I want her to able to write it too! I want to be the man that moved a woman. That changed her. A man she felt honored to have as her husband. That left her with no regrets. That has her feeling lucky because I made her life. I want to be that.
Not only do I want to be Garrett from Message in a Bottle and be so utterly consumed with a woman’s love, but I want to know what it was like to be Catherine and have someone so utterly consumed by my love. I want to be someone’s everything. I want to have a woman love me so intensely that other men are jealous of me. And ask me how I do it. Long after Gerry was gone Holly couldn’t even imagine spending time with another man. Garrett didn’t even see the women around him because he was so in love with Catherine.
I want that for me. Ya I really do want to be somebody’s Gerry. But I also want be what Holly was to Gerry. What Catherine was to Garrett. I deserve to get as good as I give. Anything less is no longer acceptable.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
That got me thinking about things. I have spent a lot of time here talking about how we the readers are loving our partners. Brainstormed ideas on how we could put more effort into strengthening our relationships. Came up with ways we could do more for them. Taken responsibility for the shortcomings we feel exist. Explored ways we could feel more, love deeper, give more of ourselves.
I realized I haven’t done a very good job of exploring what we may want out of life. I haven’t been selfish enough here for us. I haven’t asked what we want to get out of our relationships. What is in it for us? We want to give more but is it wrong to want to get a little in return?
Daniels single statement changed my thinking on love. In that moment as I watched him say it and I heard the words I knew they hit me hard in a new place. And as I sat here today replaying them over and over and over I had an epiphany. I realized I was only working on half of the puzzle. Not only am I looking for a great love for ME, but I want to be a great love for HER. I know what I wanted FOR me. Now I know what I want FROM me.
Gerry writes a final letter to Holly before he dies. In that letter he is thanking her for their life together. He tells her how much she moved him, and changed him. How she made him a man by loving him. He says “Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I am a man with no regrets. How lucky I am, you made my life.”
Maybe it has been obvious to you but it wasn’t to me. Maybe it goes without saying that in our effort to have a great love we automatically are that for the other person. But having a great love isn’t the same as being a great love. I want to be able to write that letter to the woman I share my life with. But I want her to able to write it too! I want to be the man that moved a woman. That changed her. A man she felt honored to have as her husband. That left her with no regrets. That has her feeling lucky because I made her life. I want to be that.
Not only do I want to be Garrett from Message in a Bottle and be so utterly consumed with a woman’s love, but I want to know what it was like to be Catherine and have someone so utterly consumed by my love. I want to be someone’s everything. I want to have a woman love me so intensely that other men are jealous of me. And ask me how I do it. Long after Gerry was gone Holly couldn’t even imagine spending time with another man. Garrett didn’t even see the women around him because he was so in love with Catherine.
I want that for me. Ya I really do want to be somebody’s Gerry. But I also want be what Holly was to Gerry. What Catherine was to Garrett. I deserve to get as good as I give. Anything less is no longer acceptable.
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Somebody's Gerry
I have recently seen some really good movies and I am in the process of reading all of Nicholas Sparks books. He wrote The Notebook, a Walk To Remember, Nights in Rodanthe to name a few. I am on page 106 of Message In A Bottle and it really has me thinking about some things.
I haven't seen that movie yet. I will wait until I finish reading the book. In the book Garrett Blake lost his wife Catherine in an accident and he writes her love letters that he puts in bottles and tosses into the ocean. You can tell by reading them that he doesn't just love this woman, he is crazy unconditionally absolutely IN LOVE with her. He adores her. It’s the kind of love that makes you ache when you are apart. Has you walking around smiling for what seems like no good reason at all. Has you looking at her and saying a silent Thank You to God for letting you have her.
One day a woman, Theresa, is walking on the beach while on vacation and she finds one of his bottles. Inside was one of the letters he had written to Catherine and it was so powerful that she was taken by it. She shares the letter with her boss, and her boss talks her into publishing it in the newspaper column she writes. She receives hundreds of responses as women beg for information on who this man that loves so deeply may be. Surly men don't really talk like this. Right? They are not capable of expressing their feelings so powerfully if they even have any.
One of Theresa’s readers has found a letter herself and contacts Theresa. It was just as wonderful and emotional and heartbreaking as the one she had. She does a little research and she finds a third letter. Theresa’s boss compels her to go and find the man whose amazing love letters to the woman he loves have moved her so much.
Ok now toss into the thought process the movie PS I Love You. It’s about a girl named Holly who is trying to cope with the death of her husband Gerry. As you watch how their relationship started and grew you can see how much she meant to him. They were lovers and playmates and best friends. He was her everything. As you can see it is another story of an amazing love lost.
In the movie Harry Connick Jr plays Daniel, a nice guy who meets Holly and is attracted to her. He is having lunch with her one day and he is trying to talk Holly into a relationship. She is not interested because she can tell he isn't the one. You see, Gerry wasn't just another man. He wasn't just someone she loved and said "Yes" to. To Holly he was a once in a lifetime love. The kind that doesn't just come along everyday. He was to her what Catherine was to Garrett.
Daniel is clearly upset about the idea that she is not responding to his desire to pursue a relationship. But he does understand. And you can see in his eyes that his hurt is not just a result of her rejection. It’s much deeper than that. He listened to her talk about her love for Gerry and he sadly states “I’d like to be somebody’s Gerry”
There it is.
I said all that so I myself could say “I’d like to be somebody’s Gerry.”
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
I haven't seen that movie yet. I will wait until I finish reading the book. In the book Garrett Blake lost his wife Catherine in an accident and he writes her love letters that he puts in bottles and tosses into the ocean. You can tell by reading them that he doesn't just love this woman, he is crazy unconditionally absolutely IN LOVE with her. He adores her. It’s the kind of love that makes you ache when you are apart. Has you walking around smiling for what seems like no good reason at all. Has you looking at her and saying a silent Thank You to God for letting you have her.
One day a woman, Theresa, is walking on the beach while on vacation and she finds one of his bottles. Inside was one of the letters he had written to Catherine and it was so powerful that she was taken by it. She shares the letter with her boss, and her boss talks her into publishing it in the newspaper column she writes. She receives hundreds of responses as women beg for information on who this man that loves so deeply may be. Surly men don't really talk like this. Right? They are not capable of expressing their feelings so powerfully if they even have any.
One of Theresa’s readers has found a letter herself and contacts Theresa. It was just as wonderful and emotional and heartbreaking as the one she had. She does a little research and she finds a third letter. Theresa’s boss compels her to go and find the man whose amazing love letters to the woman he loves have moved her so much.
Ok now toss into the thought process the movie PS I Love You. It’s about a girl named Holly who is trying to cope with the death of her husband Gerry. As you watch how their relationship started and grew you can see how much she meant to him. They were lovers and playmates and best friends. He was her everything. As you can see it is another story of an amazing love lost.
In the movie Harry Connick Jr plays Daniel, a nice guy who meets Holly and is attracted to her. He is having lunch with her one day and he is trying to talk Holly into a relationship. She is not interested because she can tell he isn't the one. You see, Gerry wasn't just another man. He wasn't just someone she loved and said "Yes" to. To Holly he was a once in a lifetime love. The kind that doesn't just come along everyday. He was to her what Catherine was to Garrett.
Daniel is clearly upset about the idea that she is not responding to his desire to pursue a relationship. But he does understand. And you can see in his eyes that his hurt is not just a result of her rejection. It’s much deeper than that. He listened to her talk about her love for Gerry and he sadly states “I’d like to be somebody’s Gerry”
There it is.
I said all that so I myself could say “I’d like to be somebody’s Gerry.”
brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Reflecting on Happiness
We talked about happiness in your relationship a while back. Some people have found genuine happiness with the person they share their one and only life with. Others have figured out how to not be so unhappy, and trick themselves into being happy. (I call that the Dr. Dobson happiness)
I was sitting here thinking that in order for other areas of our lives to be happy and fulfilling shouldn't it start within our own heart? Don't we believe that our attitude and our outward expressions affect those around us? If we are positive and happy it's easier for those around us to be happy as well. If we encourage that idea that the glass is not only half full but that it is getting fuller every day then everyone around us will be encouraged to adopt that view on life.
People will mirror what they see in us. We can be a positive roll model. We can be a thermostat that sets the temperature in other peoples lives.
Here are some interesting quotes about happiness that may change how we look at life.
It isn't what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful but what you have in your heart.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Be thankful for what you have, not regretful for what you haven't.
If you have nothing to be thankful for then make up your mind that something is wrong with you.
He who is not grateful for the good things he has will not be happy for what he wishes he had.
Take a minute and brainstorm your view on life. Do you find that you are generally unhappy with life and have no good reason to be? Is life actually a lot better than you give it credit? Is there a reason you feel the way you do? Is your partner generally positive or negative? Do they find reasons to be happy or unhappy? I know from experience that when your partner is negative it is very hard to remain positive and upbeat. It wears on you.
I once read the difference between success and failure is the immediate outlook on a situation. A successful person says "I want to go to London for vacation and here is how I can do it..." The other person says "I cant go because there are all these reasons"
What do you want for your relationship? Do you approach it with a positive attitude reaching for success? Or something else?
HEARTWORK: Make a list of things you can do to improve your relationship. Make a list of things you want your partner to do to make the relationship better. Have your partner do it too. Exchange lists. And here is a new idea...TALK.
And of course, share your ideas with us. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
I was sitting here thinking that in order for other areas of our lives to be happy and fulfilling shouldn't it start within our own heart? Don't we believe that our attitude and our outward expressions affect those around us? If we are positive and happy it's easier for those around us to be happy as well. If we encourage that idea that the glass is not only half full but that it is getting fuller every day then everyone around us will be encouraged to adopt that view on life.
People will mirror what they see in us. We can be a positive roll model. We can be a thermostat that sets the temperature in other peoples lives.
Here are some interesting quotes about happiness that may change how we look at life.
It isn't what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful but what you have in your heart.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Be thankful for what you have, not regretful for what you haven't.
If you have nothing to be thankful for then make up your mind that something is wrong with you.
He who is not grateful for the good things he has will not be happy for what he wishes he had.
Take a minute and brainstorm your view on life. Do you find that you are generally unhappy with life and have no good reason to be? Is life actually a lot better than you give it credit? Is there a reason you feel the way you do? Is your partner generally positive or negative? Do they find reasons to be happy or unhappy? I know from experience that when your partner is negative it is very hard to remain positive and upbeat. It wears on you.
I once read the difference between success and failure is the immediate outlook on a situation. A successful person says "I want to go to London for vacation and here is how I can do it..." The other person says "I cant go because there are all these reasons"
What do you want for your relationship? Do you approach it with a positive attitude reaching for success? Or something else?
HEARTWORK: Make a list of things you can do to improve your relationship. Make a list of things you want your partner to do to make the relationship better. Have your partner do it too. Exchange lists. And here is a new idea...TALK.
And of course, share your ideas with us. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Saturday, October 25, 2008
A Love Story
The movie Forest Gump is:
A) A comedy.
B) A drama
C) A tragedy
D) A Love Story
If you have any doubt that it is one of the best love stories of all time then you need take a moment and ask yourself what love is. Ask yourself how in the world you missed the obvious. Because let me say I think it is an amazing story. It is an amazing love. It is the kind of love I think we here at Brainstorming are dreaming of day in and day out. I know I sure am.
We all know Forest loves Jenny. But it's not your typical love. It's not infatuation or a crush. It's not momentary. It's not ambiguous or uncertain. From the first moment he meets her he knows she is the one.
He say's "You know, it's funny what a young man recollects, 'cause I don't remember being born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas, and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic, but I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."
Watch the movie again and focus on Forest and what Jenny means to him. Watch the way he looks at her. Listen to how he talks about her. Notice how he protects her. Not because he is jealous she is out with other guys, but because he thinks she deserves to be treated better than they were treating her. She deserves the best. That's his girl. She was so lost for so long and he was there waiting for her. He was so in love with her he didn't know other women even existed.
No matter how far away she was he had her right there in his heart. I don't think a minute went by that he didn't spend it thinking about her. Missing her. Loving her. He named his boat after her. He talked about her non-stop. He showed up where she was to see her and spend time with her.
Watch them in the park together after he finds out he is a dad. The undeniable way he adores her as he listens to her talk. Pay attention to how he introduces her to Lieutenant Dan. "This is my Jenny" Not Jenny. MY Jenny. She was always his as far as he is concerned.
The tragedy of the movie is how long it takes Jenny to realize what Forest wants to give her. He knows he isn't a smart man, he tells her that. He tells her that he would make a good husband. And he wants to know why she doesn't love him. Why won't she marry him?
Why did it take her so long to figure it out? Did she only see it when it was too late? Her end was near and she needed to figure out what to do with her son so she contacts Forest. Was that fair? To Forest it was, remember he doesn't care WHY she is marrying him. All he cares about is that she is now his.
I think we should all take a moment to STOP. And see what we are missing out on. Take a look at your life through the eyes of Jenny. Are you wandering around lost and looking and trying everything you can to fill up the empty space in your heart? Are you missing the obvious love being offered to you? Do you have a Forest in your life waiting for you? Are you looking for your Forest?
Forest, do you have a Jenny? Do you have a love that consumes your every thought? Are you following her around trying to talk her into marrying you? Loving you? Have you told her what she means to you? How you can't get through the day without being lost in her memory? That you dream of a life with her?
HEARTWORK: There is a Doug Stone song called "Why Didnt I Think Of That" Read the lyrics. Ask yourself if you are doing all you can do to win her every day. It's not good enough to win her once. It has to be a daily quest. She needs to know every day that you would be lost without her. Does she know it? Have you told her?
NEXT: I recently read A Walk To Remember. I see a lot of Jenny in Landon. We will talk about that soon.
Email is brainstorminglife@yahoo.com. All comments, ideas, suggestions, complaints, etc are always welcome.
A) A comedy.
B) A drama
C) A tragedy
D) A Love Story
If you have any doubt that it is one of the best love stories of all time then you need take a moment and ask yourself what love is. Ask yourself how in the world you missed the obvious. Because let me say I think it is an amazing story. It is an amazing love. It is the kind of love I think we here at Brainstorming are dreaming of day in and day out. I know I sure am.
We all know Forest loves Jenny. But it's not your typical love. It's not infatuation or a crush. It's not momentary. It's not ambiguous or uncertain. From the first moment he meets her he knows she is the one.
He say's "You know, it's funny what a young man recollects, 'cause I don't remember being born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas, and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic, but I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."
Watch the movie again and focus on Forest and what Jenny means to him. Watch the way he looks at her. Listen to how he talks about her. Notice how he protects her. Not because he is jealous she is out with other guys, but because he thinks she deserves to be treated better than they were treating her. She deserves the best. That's his girl. She was so lost for so long and he was there waiting for her. He was so in love with her he didn't know other women even existed.
No matter how far away she was he had her right there in his heart. I don't think a minute went by that he didn't spend it thinking about her. Missing her. Loving her. He named his boat after her. He talked about her non-stop. He showed up where she was to see her and spend time with her.
Watch them in the park together after he finds out he is a dad. The undeniable way he adores her as he listens to her talk. Pay attention to how he introduces her to Lieutenant Dan. "This is my Jenny" Not Jenny. MY Jenny. She was always his as far as he is concerned.
The tragedy of the movie is how long it takes Jenny to realize what Forest wants to give her. He knows he isn't a smart man, he tells her that. He tells her that he would make a good husband. And he wants to know why she doesn't love him. Why won't she marry him?
Why did it take her so long to figure it out? Did she only see it when it was too late? Her end was near and she needed to figure out what to do with her son so she contacts Forest. Was that fair? To Forest it was, remember he doesn't care WHY she is marrying him. All he cares about is that she is now his.
I think we should all take a moment to STOP. And see what we are missing out on. Take a look at your life through the eyes of Jenny. Are you wandering around lost and looking and trying everything you can to fill up the empty space in your heart? Are you missing the obvious love being offered to you? Do you have a Forest in your life waiting for you? Are you looking for your Forest?
Forest, do you have a Jenny? Do you have a love that consumes your every thought? Are you following her around trying to talk her into marrying you? Loving you? Have you told her what she means to you? How you can't get through the day without being lost in her memory? That you dream of a life with her?
HEARTWORK: There is a Doug Stone song called "Why Didnt I Think Of That" Read the lyrics. Ask yourself if you are doing all you can do to win her every day. It's not good enough to win her once. It has to be a daily quest. She needs to know every day that you would be lost without her. Does she know it? Have you told her?
NEXT: I recently read A Walk To Remember. I see a lot of Jenny in Landon. We will talk about that soon.
Email is brainstorminglife@yahoo.com. All comments, ideas, suggestions, complaints, etc are always welcome.
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Garden
I am sorry it has been another long stretch between posts. Life continues to get the better of me. I am planning on a number of items for the remainder of the month. I have been working on several ideas, and I seem to have more and more every day.
I heard an interesting theory the other day that I want to explore a little. The idea is that a woman is an amazing creature (not news to me) who is capable of growing whatever seed you give her. She is capable of adapting to her environment. And she will take on the atmosphere you create for her. It was the first time I had really thought about it but the idea has validity.
Here are some of the examples I came up with.(Ya I stole a couple of these to get the ball rolling)
Give a woman a house she can grow you a home.
Give a woman compassion and she will grow you a forgiving spirit.
Give a woman your heart she can grow to adore you.
Give a woman your mind and she will grow you wonderful conversations.
Give a woman your love and friendship and she will grow you a soul mate.
Give a woman your affection and she will grow you kindness.
Give a woman your loyalty and she will grow you confidence.
The list goes on and on. You see the idea now. I am convinced that the formula works every time it’s tried and you don’t have to put much effort into it. It’s going to happen. That's what is so amazing about this magnificent wonder we call woman. Her possibilities are endless.
But just the good things as possible, so are the bad. It’s not what her heart wants. I don't really want to detail the list for the bad possibilities. I think you understand that when you give her something unpleasant, then something unpleasant will grow.
If the formula really is this easy why are we missing it guys? Is there MORE to it than this? Or is it really this easy? Is there a piece to this puzzle we can't seem to figure out? Ladies how close are we to figuring it out?
Does that work both ways? Are guys that simple to figure out as well? Do we respond to positive things the way a woman does? Are we open and looking for that kind of encouragement? Or is that man of yours just a blob of indifferent grunts and odd sounds that is a hopeless project that you somehow love in spite of himself?
I am going to cast my vote for all the possibilities. Our relationships are a plot of open land and we make the decisions on what we plant, and what we allow to grow. If you have weeds in your garden and you see that then do yourself a favor and talk about them so you can pull them out. If you don’t then they will grow and grow and choke out anything positive that could be growing. Put the past in the past. Weed your garden together.
I am going to end the idea here because I want your feedback. Oh and if any of this sounds like the idea of "filling the tank" then pat yourself on the back for making the connection. It’s amazing how right that book has it. What book? Read the earlier posts to find out.
HEARTWORK: Make a list of the things being planted in your garden. Are they good things or bad things? Ever thought about sharing them with him/her? Ever try to weed the garden of things you don't want growing? How did it go? If you haven't tried tell me why. If you have tried to weed and they protect the weeds ask yourself why they do. Talk to them. Force the issues to the surface. Its either that or a weed patch.
Send me the list of things in your garden and tell me what they are growing into. The good and the bad. I will post them all and we will see what’s working and what’s not.
I heard an interesting theory the other day that I want to explore a little. The idea is that a woman is an amazing creature (not news to me) who is capable of growing whatever seed you give her. She is capable of adapting to her environment. And she will take on the atmosphere you create for her. It was the first time I had really thought about it but the idea has validity.
Here are some of the examples I came up with.(Ya I stole a couple of these to get the ball rolling)
Give a woman a house she can grow you a home.
Give a woman compassion and she will grow you a forgiving spirit.
Give a woman your heart she can grow to adore you.
Give a woman your mind and she will grow you wonderful conversations.
Give a woman your love and friendship and she will grow you a soul mate.
Give a woman your affection and she will grow you kindness.
Give a woman your loyalty and she will grow you confidence.
The list goes on and on. You see the idea now. I am convinced that the formula works every time it’s tried and you don’t have to put much effort into it. It’s going to happen. That's what is so amazing about this magnificent wonder we call woman. Her possibilities are endless.
But just the good things as possible, so are the bad. It’s not what her heart wants. I don't really want to detail the list for the bad possibilities. I think you understand that when you give her something unpleasant, then something unpleasant will grow.
If the formula really is this easy why are we missing it guys? Is there MORE to it than this? Or is it really this easy? Is there a piece to this puzzle we can't seem to figure out? Ladies how close are we to figuring it out?
Does that work both ways? Are guys that simple to figure out as well? Do we respond to positive things the way a woman does? Are we open and looking for that kind of encouragement? Or is that man of yours just a blob of indifferent grunts and odd sounds that is a hopeless project that you somehow love in spite of himself?
I am going to cast my vote for all the possibilities. Our relationships are a plot of open land and we make the decisions on what we plant, and what we allow to grow. If you have weeds in your garden and you see that then do yourself a favor and talk about them so you can pull them out. If you don’t then they will grow and grow and choke out anything positive that could be growing. Put the past in the past. Weed your garden together.
I am going to end the idea here because I want your feedback. Oh and if any of this sounds like the idea of "filling the tank" then pat yourself on the back for making the connection. It’s amazing how right that book has it. What book? Read the earlier posts to find out.
HEARTWORK: Make a list of the things being planted in your garden. Are they good things or bad things? Ever thought about sharing them with him/her? Ever try to weed the garden of things you don't want growing? How did it go? If you haven't tried tell me why. If you have tried to weed and they protect the weeds ask yourself why they do. Talk to them. Force the issues to the surface. Its either that or a weed patch.
Send me the list of things in your garden and tell me what they are growing into. The good and the bad. I will post them all and we will see what’s working and what’s not.
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