Serving a Purpose

I follow a few relationship pages on Facebook and really enjoy the messages they post on a daily basis.  Very few ever rub me the wrong way.  Most hit home and confirm my thoughts and feelings about what it means to be in a happy loving relationship. The post I saw today was something else. “Sometimes a man’s purpose in a woman's life is to help her become a better woman...for another man”

I have been very fortunate to have been in relationships with girls that I consider to be absolute catches.  They were amazing on so many levels that I would sit and ask myself “How did I find her?  Why was she single?  What fool let this girl get away?  What can I do to convince her to marry me?”  on and on.  I would put all my effort into studying them.  Learning their facial expressions, their noises, their body language, what they liked to eat, what they liked to do, everything!  WHY?  Because the more I knew about them the better I could be at loving them.  The more effort I put into understanding them the more I wanted to understand them.  The more I tried to love them the more I wanted to love them.

But it didn’t work you say.  And you are correct.  Regardless of my efforts I was unable to secure a happily ever after with them.  Why?  Various reasons I suppose.  The truth is known, but not important for this discussion.  The fact that there was something missing on my part is the seed I want to plant and see what grows.

What if it was never intended for me to have been the lucky guy that lifted her vale for the last time in her life?  Slide that ring on a trembling finger and promised that all I have been to them thus far was only an audition, and I intended to be far more going forward than I ever was leading up to that moment.  That the best was truly yet to come.  That I had so much more to give and the possibilities were now endless because she was forever mine!  

Maybe my job was to show her how amazing she is, regardless of what she was told in the past.  Or maybe I was there to teach her she deserves the absolute best in life and that if she settles for less it is because she chose to, not because she had no other option.  Maybe opening her door, and listening to their thoughts and feelings, and making them feel important and valued will teach them they should expect respect for themselves, and from themselves.  That they should never sell themselves short and give in to someone who does not deserve them.  Maybe my job was to be her best friend if that is what she wanted from me.  

Ultimately…my job was to change what she thought of herself.  To show her she is a treasure and a gift from God and the man had better well be deserving.  

Even though I didn't win the prize in the end I have to tell you that it was the pleasure of a lifetime serving the purposes I served.  I will treasure each memory and do my best to learn from all my mistakes.  Eventually I will be the guy.  Until then ....

HEARTWORK:  Make a list of all the things that your partner has taught you about yourself.  List the things you love about yourself that have changed because they are in your life.  List the things you think changed in your partners life because of your presence.  Now have the courage to hide away somewhere quiet and tell each other what is on your list.  Have the courage to tell them the things you want to add to your list.