I saw “Made Of Honor” the other day. I thought it was a really good movie and it really touched my heart. Tom and Hannah, the main characters, are best friends. They do everything together. They play games. They talk and listen and they know what the other is thinking. They have that connection that we have talked about here since the beginning. Best of all it was so natural. So unscripted. So effortless. It just flowed from the heart and it could not be faked or denied. It was wonderful to watch them interact with each other because you could see that deep heartfelt connection that is the foundation for the best of loves. I watched the movie and I saw so much in their relationship that I have dreamed about. Things I am jealous of. Things that made my heart say PLEASE I WANT THAT TOO!
Tom orders Starbucks for Hannah. One of those crazy formulas that only a Starbuck-aholic has any idea what is being said when it’s ordered. He remembers what she likes to the tiniest detail. He orders lunch for the two of them, and he makes sure he gets the things she loves most. They go to a bakery to get a desert, a random desert, and they are playing a guessing game on which desert will scratch the itch that day. They eat off each others plate (that was so great) It is very clear that they are absolutely the best of friends.
So I am watching and I am wondering…what is wrong with this man? Doesn’t he see?! Does he have a clue what he has in the woman that sits across from him? How is he missing the obvious fact that this is his soul mate? How could he be so blind? Is it blindness or is it apathy? Do we just take for granted that these treasures will always remain ours? Tom clearly thought Hannah would always be there for him. He was taking what he had for granted.
I did a lookup of that phrase “take for granted.” I got back interesting words. Assume. Undervalue. The opposite meaning is “appreciate.” Tom didn’t appreciate the gift he had.
Not until it was walking out the door.
WHY? Why did she have to be leaving for him to see what was walking away? I just don’t understand how people can be so blind, or so clueless, to what is sitting right there staring them in the eyes. Did he choose not to see it for fear he would have to give up the lifestyle he had? Yes in part because that idea was debated by tom and the guys on the basketball court. I almost came out of the chair to scream YOU FOOL! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??!?!
There is a very interesting part of the movie where Tom decides to try some of the things he loves most about his relationship with Hannah on the girls he is dating. Nothing worked. Is it any wonder why? None of the girls got it. They didn’t see the neat little games he was trying to play with them. There wasn’t that exchange of emotion or love or understanding. I guess he could have taken a moment to say “When I do this, you are supposed to do that” But what fun is there in that? Who wants to force it to happen? He didn’t have to explain the rules to Hannah, because her heart already knew them. Without being told. How does that happen?
Oh ya we are supposed to be brainstorming. Actually I asked a lot of questions already so let’s get down to business.
HEART WORK: Ask yourself “What am I looking for?” What are you missing? Seriously. If you could order off an ala-carte relationship menu what items are on the menu that you can’t live without? Is what we want only found in the movies? Take an honest moment and evaluate what your heart is begging for.
Think about it.
