We talked about happiness in your relationship a while back. Some people have found genuine happiness with the person they share their one and only life with. Others have figured out how to not be so unhappy, and trick themselves into being happy. (I call that the Dr. Dobson happiness)
I was sitting here thinking that in order for other areas of our lives to be happy and fulfilling shouldn't it start within our own heart? Don't we believe that our attitude and our outward expressions affect those around us? If we are positive and happy it's easier for those around us to be happy as well. If we encourage that idea that the glass is not only half full but that it is getting fuller every day then everyone around us will be encouraged to adopt that view on life.
People will mirror what they see in us. We can be a positive roll model. We can be a thermostat that sets the temperature in other peoples lives.
Here are some interesting quotes about happiness that may change how we look at life.
It isn't what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful but what you have in your heart.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Be thankful for what you have, not regretful for what you haven't.
If you have nothing to be thankful for then make up your mind that something is wrong with you.
He who is not grateful for the good things he has will not be happy for what he wishes he had.
Take a minute and brainstorm your view on life. Do you find that you are generally unhappy with life and have no good reason to be? Is life actually a lot better than you give it credit? Is there a reason you feel the way you do? Is your partner generally positive or negative? Do they find reasons to be happy or unhappy? I know from experience that when your partner is negative it is very hard to remain positive and upbeat. It wears on you.
I once read the difference between success and failure is the immediate outlook on a situation. A successful person says "I want to go to London for vacation and here is how I can do it..." The other person says "I cant go because there are all these reasons"
What do you want for your relationship? Do you approach it with a positive attitude reaching for success? Or something else?
HEARTWORK: Make a list of things you can do to improve your relationship. Make a list of things you want your partner to do to make the relationship better. Have your partner do it too. Exchange lists. And here is a new idea...TALK.
And of course, share your ideas with us. Brainstorminglife@yahoo.com
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
A Love Story
The movie Forest Gump is:
A) A comedy.
B) A drama
C) A tragedy
D) A Love Story
If you have any doubt that it is one of the best love stories of all time then you need take a moment and ask yourself what love is. Ask yourself how in the world you missed the obvious. Because let me say I think it is an amazing story. It is an amazing love. It is the kind of love I think we here at Brainstorming are dreaming of day in and day out. I know I sure am.
We all know Forest loves Jenny. But it's not your typical love. It's not infatuation or a crush. It's not momentary. It's not ambiguous or uncertain. From the first moment he meets her he knows she is the one.
He say's "You know, it's funny what a young man recollects, 'cause I don't remember being born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas, and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic, but I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."
Watch the movie again and focus on Forest and what Jenny means to him. Watch the way he looks at her. Listen to how he talks about her. Notice how he protects her. Not because he is jealous she is out with other guys, but because he thinks she deserves to be treated better than they were treating her. She deserves the best. That's his girl. She was so lost for so long and he was there waiting for her. He was so in love with her he didn't know other women even existed.
No matter how far away she was he had her right there in his heart. I don't think a minute went by that he didn't spend it thinking about her. Missing her. Loving her. He named his boat after her. He talked about her non-stop. He showed up where she was to see her and spend time with her.
Watch them in the park together after he finds out he is a dad. The undeniable way he adores her as he listens to her talk. Pay attention to how he introduces her to Lieutenant Dan. "This is my Jenny" Not Jenny. MY Jenny. She was always his as far as he is concerned.
The tragedy of the movie is how long it takes Jenny to realize what Forest wants to give her. He knows he isn't a smart man, he tells her that. He tells her that he would make a good husband. And he wants to know why she doesn't love him. Why won't she marry him?
Why did it take her so long to figure it out? Did she only see it when it was too late? Her end was near and she needed to figure out what to do with her son so she contacts Forest. Was that fair? To Forest it was, remember he doesn't care WHY she is marrying him. All he cares about is that she is now his.
I think we should all take a moment to STOP. And see what we are missing out on. Take a look at your life through the eyes of Jenny. Are you wandering around lost and looking and trying everything you can to fill up the empty space in your heart? Are you missing the obvious love being offered to you? Do you have a Forest in your life waiting for you? Are you looking for your Forest?
Forest, do you have a Jenny? Do you have a love that consumes your every thought? Are you following her around trying to talk her into marrying you? Loving you? Have you told her what she means to you? How you can't get through the day without being lost in her memory? That you dream of a life with her?
HEARTWORK: There is a Doug Stone song called "Why Didnt I Think Of That" Read the lyrics. Ask yourself if you are doing all you can do to win her every day. It's not good enough to win her once. It has to be a daily quest. She needs to know every day that you would be lost without her. Does she know it? Have you told her?
NEXT: I recently read A Walk To Remember. I see a lot of Jenny in Landon. We will talk about that soon.
Email is brainstorminglife@yahoo.com. All comments, ideas, suggestions, complaints, etc are always welcome.
A) A comedy.
B) A drama
C) A tragedy
D) A Love Story
If you have any doubt that it is one of the best love stories of all time then you need take a moment and ask yourself what love is. Ask yourself how in the world you missed the obvious. Because let me say I think it is an amazing story. It is an amazing love. It is the kind of love I think we here at Brainstorming are dreaming of day in and day out. I know I sure am.
We all know Forest loves Jenny. But it's not your typical love. It's not infatuation or a crush. It's not momentary. It's not ambiguous or uncertain. From the first moment he meets her he knows she is the one.
He say's "You know, it's funny what a young man recollects, 'cause I don't remember being born. I don't recall what I got for my first Christmas, and I don't know when I went on my first outdoor picnic, but I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world."
Watch the movie again and focus on Forest and what Jenny means to him. Watch the way he looks at her. Listen to how he talks about her. Notice how he protects her. Not because he is jealous she is out with other guys, but because he thinks she deserves to be treated better than they were treating her. She deserves the best. That's his girl. She was so lost for so long and he was there waiting for her. He was so in love with her he didn't know other women even existed.
No matter how far away she was he had her right there in his heart. I don't think a minute went by that he didn't spend it thinking about her. Missing her. Loving her. He named his boat after her. He talked about her non-stop. He showed up where she was to see her and spend time with her.
Watch them in the park together after he finds out he is a dad. The undeniable way he adores her as he listens to her talk. Pay attention to how he introduces her to Lieutenant Dan. "This is my Jenny" Not Jenny. MY Jenny. She was always his as far as he is concerned.
The tragedy of the movie is how long it takes Jenny to realize what Forest wants to give her. He knows he isn't a smart man, he tells her that. He tells her that he would make a good husband. And he wants to know why she doesn't love him. Why won't she marry him?
Why did it take her so long to figure it out? Did she only see it when it was too late? Her end was near and she needed to figure out what to do with her son so she contacts Forest. Was that fair? To Forest it was, remember he doesn't care WHY she is marrying him. All he cares about is that she is now his.
I think we should all take a moment to STOP. And see what we are missing out on. Take a look at your life through the eyes of Jenny. Are you wandering around lost and looking and trying everything you can to fill up the empty space in your heart? Are you missing the obvious love being offered to you? Do you have a Forest in your life waiting for you? Are you looking for your Forest?
Forest, do you have a Jenny? Do you have a love that consumes your every thought? Are you following her around trying to talk her into marrying you? Loving you? Have you told her what she means to you? How you can't get through the day without being lost in her memory? That you dream of a life with her?
HEARTWORK: There is a Doug Stone song called "Why Didnt I Think Of That" Read the lyrics. Ask yourself if you are doing all you can do to win her every day. It's not good enough to win her once. It has to be a daily quest. She needs to know every day that you would be lost without her. Does she know it? Have you told her?
NEXT: I recently read A Walk To Remember. I see a lot of Jenny in Landon. We will talk about that soon.
Email is brainstorminglife@yahoo.com. All comments, ideas, suggestions, complaints, etc are always welcome.
Monday, October 13, 2008
The Garden
I am sorry it has been another long stretch between posts. Life continues to get the better of me. I am planning on a number of items for the remainder of the month. I have been working on several ideas, and I seem to have more and more every day.
I heard an interesting theory the other day that I want to explore a little. The idea is that a woman is an amazing creature (not news to me) who is capable of growing whatever seed you give her. She is capable of adapting to her environment. And she will take on the atmosphere you create for her. It was the first time I had really thought about it but the idea has validity.
Here are some of the examples I came up with.(Ya I stole a couple of these to get the ball rolling)
Give a woman a house she can grow you a home.
Give a woman compassion and she will grow you a forgiving spirit.
Give a woman your heart she can grow to adore you.
Give a woman your mind and she will grow you wonderful conversations.
Give a woman your love and friendship and she will grow you a soul mate.
Give a woman your affection and she will grow you kindness.
Give a woman your loyalty and she will grow you confidence.
The list goes on and on. You see the idea now. I am convinced that the formula works every time it’s tried and you don’t have to put much effort into it. It’s going to happen. That's what is so amazing about this magnificent wonder we call woman. Her possibilities are endless.
But just the good things as possible, so are the bad. It’s not what her heart wants. I don't really want to detail the list for the bad possibilities. I think you understand that when you give her something unpleasant, then something unpleasant will grow.
If the formula really is this easy why are we missing it guys? Is there MORE to it than this? Or is it really this easy? Is there a piece to this puzzle we can't seem to figure out? Ladies how close are we to figuring it out?
Does that work both ways? Are guys that simple to figure out as well? Do we respond to positive things the way a woman does? Are we open and looking for that kind of encouragement? Or is that man of yours just a blob of indifferent grunts and odd sounds that is a hopeless project that you somehow love in spite of himself?
I am going to cast my vote for all the possibilities. Our relationships are a plot of open land and we make the decisions on what we plant, and what we allow to grow. If you have weeds in your garden and you see that then do yourself a favor and talk about them so you can pull them out. If you don’t then they will grow and grow and choke out anything positive that could be growing. Put the past in the past. Weed your garden together.
I am going to end the idea here because I want your feedback. Oh and if any of this sounds like the idea of "filling the tank" then pat yourself on the back for making the connection. It’s amazing how right that book has it. What book? Read the earlier posts to find out.
HEARTWORK: Make a list of the things being planted in your garden. Are they good things or bad things? Ever thought about sharing them with him/her? Ever try to weed the garden of things you don't want growing? How did it go? If you haven't tried tell me why. If you have tried to weed and they protect the weeds ask yourself why they do. Talk to them. Force the issues to the surface. Its either that or a weed patch.
Send me the list of things in your garden and tell me what they are growing into. The good and the bad. I will post them all and we will see what’s working and what’s not.
I heard an interesting theory the other day that I want to explore a little. The idea is that a woman is an amazing creature (not news to me) who is capable of growing whatever seed you give her. She is capable of adapting to her environment. And she will take on the atmosphere you create for her. It was the first time I had really thought about it but the idea has validity.
Here are some of the examples I came up with.(Ya I stole a couple of these to get the ball rolling)
Give a woman a house she can grow you a home.
Give a woman compassion and she will grow you a forgiving spirit.
Give a woman your heart she can grow to adore you.
Give a woman your mind and she will grow you wonderful conversations.
Give a woman your love and friendship and she will grow you a soul mate.
Give a woman your affection and she will grow you kindness.
Give a woman your loyalty and she will grow you confidence.
The list goes on and on. You see the idea now. I am convinced that the formula works every time it’s tried and you don’t have to put much effort into it. It’s going to happen. That's what is so amazing about this magnificent wonder we call woman. Her possibilities are endless.
But just the good things as possible, so are the bad. It’s not what her heart wants. I don't really want to detail the list for the bad possibilities. I think you understand that when you give her something unpleasant, then something unpleasant will grow.
If the formula really is this easy why are we missing it guys? Is there MORE to it than this? Or is it really this easy? Is there a piece to this puzzle we can't seem to figure out? Ladies how close are we to figuring it out?
Does that work both ways? Are guys that simple to figure out as well? Do we respond to positive things the way a woman does? Are we open and looking for that kind of encouragement? Or is that man of yours just a blob of indifferent grunts and odd sounds that is a hopeless project that you somehow love in spite of himself?
I am going to cast my vote for all the possibilities. Our relationships are a plot of open land and we make the decisions on what we plant, and what we allow to grow. If you have weeds in your garden and you see that then do yourself a favor and talk about them so you can pull them out. If you don’t then they will grow and grow and choke out anything positive that could be growing. Put the past in the past. Weed your garden together.
I am going to end the idea here because I want your feedback. Oh and if any of this sounds like the idea of "filling the tank" then pat yourself on the back for making the connection. It’s amazing how right that book has it. What book? Read the earlier posts to find out.
HEARTWORK: Make a list of the things being planted in your garden. Are they good things or bad things? Ever thought about sharing them with him/her? Ever try to weed the garden of things you don't want growing? How did it go? If you haven't tried tell me why. If you have tried to weed and they protect the weeds ask yourself why they do. Talk to them. Force the issues to the surface. Its either that or a weed patch.
Send me the list of things in your garden and tell me what they are growing into. The good and the bad. I will post them all and we will see what’s working and what’s not.
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