Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Recklessness in Between

I read this phrase in a book the other day and it sent me into a brainstorming session. To understand what the idea is let me put it in context. A guy and a girl are talking about life and about a plan to mix responsibility with a little adventure. They agreed that a couple of times a week they would get together and do the right thing. In this case they mean their homework. But they also had a plan to toss in a little adventure in there as well.

The reason this got me brainstorming is because I could see how easy it is to get stuck in a “do the right thing” pattern. You know what I mean. We get up, shower and get dressed, get the kids ready for school, feed them and get them off to school, drive to work, bust our tails on the job while trying to keep our sanity, drive home, soccer practice, little league practice, laundry, cook dinner, home work, grocery shopping, clean the kitchen, put the kids in bed, drop down in our bed exhausted, REPEAT TOMORROW.

Why? Because it is expected of us. It is responsible and it is right and it is what we do. Without ever realizing it this IS our plan. It is what we know we will do day in and day out for as long as the eye can see into the future. We slip into the routine and before we know years have flown by and we wonder what the heck is becoming of my life?!?!? It’s not hard to see how one thing leads to another and we are bitter, angry, curious, depressed, wandering, bored, upset, or heck any number of other emotions associated with this.

How can we fight this off? What can we do to keep life fun and exciting and have us looking forward to something? A little recklessness in between. Doing something not in the plan. Doing something out of the norm. (Hey it can even be planned) Stepping out and breaking free from the same-old same-olds. Have some adventure.

Easier said than done? Nope. Maybe it’s easier to dismiss and not do it because yes it will take some effort. But I am pretty sure the rewards will be well worth it. How about some ideas. Call your mom on a Tuesday night and ask her to watch the kids. Take them to her if she can’t come stay with them. When your partner gets home tell them to shower up you are taking them to dinner. Then after a nice dinner where you have some adult conversation about things other than work and the kids go find some isolated place to make out. Maybe even indulge in some car sex.

Have you seen the bendy foam binder kit you can get at Spencer? Pick it up at lunch and bring it home. Let your imagination fill in the rest of that idea.

OK how about something not so racy? Join a bowling league together. Have you seen how much fun people have with that? Hanging out with other adults, maybe have a beer or wine (I am a sweet tea kinda guy myself), laughing at each other. Some healthy competition. Blow off some steam. Make new friends. Do something with your partner!

It really doesn’t matter what you do to be reckless in between. It only matters that you do something. You need to find ways to create excitement and anticipation in your relationship that goes beyond the norm. Break the mold. Whatever phrase you gravitate to you get the point.

And for those who subscribe to the 5 Love Languages, this is quality time.

HEARTWORK: Get reckless. Do something unpredictable and outside your comfort zone. Shock your partner with a little creativity. Live a night on the edge. Just one. Just for a start. And see what that does to your relationship. See if it energizes it. Renews some old flame and creates a fresh sense of excitement.

Share your reckless ideas with me and I will post them. I started with 3. What would you add to the list?

brainstorminglife@yahoo.com